- Merge/Split issues on movement as needed (SOP Rewrites)
- Settle up the Way of Engagment stuff -> movement and planning&leadign sub-sections
- Finish changes to passwords module
- Train the crap out of Sniper
Just the top of the iceburg.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Todo
Just the top of the iceburg.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Personal Training
Got to spend some time alone on TG#1
MP5A4+SD, Suppressed 9x19mm
Cobra Stun Gun, T-Shot Taser with cattle prod feature xD
3 x CS Gas Grenade
1 x Opti-Wand
3 x C2 Breaching Charge
No body armour
Night Vision Goggles
Map, victory imports auto store.
Made insertion, had a tango walking through the area. His back was turned to me and I could've put 2 right in the back of his head, no problem. And keep the Stealth, however I decided to sneak by all together, gather more intelligence and secure the exterior parking area.
Manged to get into the building without getting compromised, one tango KiA on the way in. Secured the lower area without much fuss, one arrest. Spotted a Suspect facing the door coming out of the work area closest to Side 2 and an Open door to the middle loading area. A wedge would've made this much safer. But I flanked through the middle work area, securing one contact and neutralising another. Gas'd the Side 2 work area, secured one contact and neutralised another. Gas'd the Side 4 work area and headed up with another arrest.
Made it upstairs, snuck up on a Tango and tasered him in the back, his shout of pain draw some attention :-( So I puffed gas and backed off. That took the fight right out of them, got the Goon that came to investigate, the one I tasered, one behind the divider I was using for cover, and one in the lobby all without a loud shot to give me away.
Secured the lobby, office space, and break room. Now out of gas I decided to go Dynamic. Saw a Civilian hiding in the corner of the hall, tossed in a Flash bang near him and assaulted. Sure enough there was a Tango, tasered and arrested :-)
All in all I was quite satisfied, I was not forced to go Dynamic until I chose to. Got to be a sneaky Son of a Gun using my Opti-wand and my brains, and a mixture of Red and Yello RoE.
Usually even in Stealth we are Green light to shoot any threat on sight, but like I tried to get at in my "Ninja Class" session last month. Some times you *don't* want to kill the tango on sight! While the games AI doesn't react to dead bodies and we can't hide them (like in SOCOM). Once you engage the enemy in Stealth, you are committed to it. Ether he dies, QUICKLY or you are compromised.
One lone Spidey Vs 11 Tangos and 3 Hostages, means it is important to avoid un-necessary risks to survive the mission. Not to mention based on the levels Intel, they could always have a gun to the hostages head.... and pull the trigger the second they know we're there.
Hence, Stealth To First Contact is a very valuable tool ! Often times I'll plan on doing the mission in Dynamic, but take pains to avoid un-necessary contact. When I am forced to go Dynamic... it's usually hit the fan or some one blew it. If we can get closer to the objective before having to go in loud and proud, thats better chances for the hostage. And perfectly good in my book.
Hostage Rescue and Recon Operations are kind of my specialty in games hehe.
MP5A4+SD, Suppressed 9x19mm
Cobra Stun Gun, T-Shot Taser with cattle prod feature xD
3 x CS Gas Grenade
1 x Opti-Wand
3 x C2 Breaching Charge
No body armour
Night Vision Goggles
Map, victory imports auto store.
Made insertion, had a tango walking through the area. His back was turned to me and I could've put 2 right in the back of his head, no problem. And keep the Stealth, however I decided to sneak by all together, gather more intelligence and secure the exterior parking area.
Manged to get into the building without getting compromised, one tango KiA on the way in. Secured the lower area without much fuss, one arrest. Spotted a Suspect facing the door coming out of the work area closest to Side 2 and an Open door to the middle loading area. A wedge would've made this much safer. But I flanked through the middle work area, securing one contact and neutralising another. Gas'd the Side 2 work area, secured one contact and neutralised another. Gas'd the Side 4 work area and headed up with another arrest.
Made it upstairs, snuck up on a Tango and tasered him in the back, his shout of pain draw some attention :-( So I puffed gas and backed off. That took the fight right out of them, got the Goon that came to investigate, the one I tasered, one behind the divider I was using for cover, and one in the lobby all without a loud shot to give me away.
Secured the lobby, office space, and break room. Now out of gas I decided to go Dynamic. Saw a Civilian hiding in the corner of the hall, tossed in a Flash bang near him and assaulted. Sure enough there was a Tango, tasered and arrested :-)
All in all I was quite satisfied, I was not forced to go Dynamic until I chose to. Got to be a sneaky Son of a Gun using my Opti-wand and my brains, and a mixture of Red and Yello RoE.
Usually even in Stealth we are Green light to shoot any threat on sight, but like I tried to get at in my "Ninja Class" session last month. Some times you *don't* want to kill the tango on sight! While the games AI doesn't react to dead bodies and we can't hide them (like in SOCOM). Once you engage the enemy in Stealth, you are committed to it. Ether he dies, QUICKLY or you are compromised.
One lone Spidey Vs 11 Tangos and 3 Hostages, means it is important to avoid un-necessary risks to survive the mission. Not to mention based on the levels Intel, they could always have a gun to the hostages head.... and pull the trigger the second they know we're there.
Hence, Stealth To First Contact is a very valuable tool ! Often times I'll plan on doing the mission in Dynamic, but take pains to avoid un-necessary contact. When I am forced to go Dynamic... it's usually hit the fan or some one blew it. If we can get closer to the objective before having to go in loud and proud, thats better chances for the hostage. And perfectly good in my book.
Hostage Rescue and Recon Operations are kind of my specialty in games hehe.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
19 Fatted horses
Home from dinner...
All you can eat at the golden corral. I think I had like a helping per year hehehe. I must've walked in their with a hollow leg or some thing :-) Ate for like an hour and a half straight ! If I had any where to put it... I think I could eat another 3 plates lol. On the way home I had to let an extra notch in the lap belt :/
Needless to say, we don't eat out much. And that's good for me, or else I'd have to work out more often. And I hate exercise ! My brother took us out for dinner, between the lot of us. 19, 29, 38, and 59, all together we'd have to be like 145 years old loool.
All was good, fat happy spidey hehehe. Then I noticed on the trip back the sun was starting to set, and it made me think of where I'd rather be... Sitting under a tree watching the beautiful sun set.
Did get to spend most of the day on line in the SWAT4 server though. Room clearing with Duke and Miles, and a bunch of others. I think it may be time to start drilling the crap out of our SWAT4 division when it comes to working in larger Elements and more Complex plans. But Miles might have a good point, best to finish the SOP rewrites first lol.
I feel like a fat horse, an overweight one at that ! I'm glad I've only got one Birthday in a year or I'd get fat from all the food ! Think I might raid the RvS server tonight for some late night training.
now if I wasn't still hungry.........
Laugh out loud !!!!
All you can eat at the golden corral. I think I had like a helping per year hehehe. I must've walked in their with a hollow leg or some thing :-) Ate for like an hour and a half straight ! If I had any where to put it... I think I could eat another 3 plates lol. On the way home I had to let an extra notch in the lap belt :/
Needless to say, we don't eat out much. And that's good for me, or else I'd have to work out more often. And I hate exercise ! My brother took us out for dinner, between the lot of us. 19, 29, 38, and 59, all together we'd have to be like 145 years old loool.
All was good, fat happy spidey hehehe. Then I noticed on the trip back the sun was starting to set, and it made me think of where I'd rather be... Sitting under a tree watching the beautiful sun set.
Did get to spend most of the day on line in the SWAT4 server though. Room clearing with Duke and Miles, and a bunch of others. I think it may be time to start drilling the crap out of our SWAT4 division when it comes to working in larger Elements and more Complex plans. But Miles might have a good point, best to finish the SOP rewrites first lol.
I feel like a fat horse, an overweight one at that ! I'm glad I've only got one Birthday in a year or I'd get fat from all the food ! Think I might raid the RvS server tonight for some late night training.
now if I wasn't still hungry.........
Laugh out loud !!!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
=/
If I didn't have a family history....
I think I'd be drinking, but I do so I know better.
Leave it to family to drive you to thinking about it..... lol
I think I'd be drinking, but I do so I know better.
Leave it to family to drive you to thinking about it..... lol
Sunday, June 17, 2007
To day, I've seen one of the mos thorriable things.
I know a lot of shit has hit the fan lately but this hurts me to see it...
When I joined the server this afternoon. The [SAS] were taking the front, Claudia was taking the ear. Being careful to avoid the other players. When I joined this evening. While every one was going into the stairs to head for the hostage. She was going for the only other area in the map.
8 players on the server, a server known for its team work. And she was effectively choosing to play alone. By the end of it she finnally started to join in a bit.
When I know damn well a few days ago, she would've been one of the lead assualters heading for that hostage... it pains me to see this. Some one with such potentional, for as long as I can remember. When ever a Women as tried to join the [SAS], some things always happened that sent it going tits up.
The first, car accident while she was deployed.
The other, well not much to be said.
Claudia, to much bullshit under the bridge.
The only other candiate for first women in [SAS] (history afaik). I will never ask her about it. Because I have to much respect for her, her family, and her clan.
I'm a very simple sort, I love RvS and I love S4. Which I play, is usually dependant on other people. If JB's in RvS, I'll probably head there unless I feel like being alone. If Lazko and Miles are on SWAT4:TSS I'll probably head that way.
Maybe I've just been around long enough to notice.. The old customs of team play on our servers. But this has got to be the worst thing I've seen in 2-3 years of time on the server.
I can't stand to see this, its just not right. Although the kidn of person I am. I'd provide cover just the same, unless told to stop being myself... Just the same, I'd end up following Sniper or Medic if they were around. Or vice versa, just the norm. I'd prefer to be in the middle of the Hostage Rescue, its how I like to play. But still much of the time, I'd rather follow a good team mate then take the objective my self.
Business is business, its different from personal issues for me. Needless to say, I don't let me feelings for others get involved. If I had issue one promtion suggestion, it'd go for who I thought most able to handle the job... or not at all. I'm the same way when it comes to managing the server.
If they are nice, I am nice, if they want to cause trouble, I show them the door, if they don't like the door, I push them through it. I'm lucky though, I've rarly had to do that. I hope I'll never have to do that to Claudia, nore any one else (ban). But I can't consider Server Regulars any different froom other people... more leniant perhapes but of course. I have to respect my peers. This is very sad... She showed such great potentional at first. But what can I do about it? nothing.... lol
I've only seen her good side on the server, but can't argue with the admin actions of my friends. I suppose I should be thankful in a way, having a Woman on the server has reminded me. I'm much more a gentleman then I used to think. Peronsally I think thats saying some thing, considering as such things go. I may as well have been raised in a barn. But lately the ol'bones have shown their colours. Maybe its just a southren thing... dunno, but its how I am. I'd rather be the proverbal "nice guy" then a lot of other things lol.
I know a lot of shit has hit the fan lately but this hurts me to see it...
When I joined the server this afternoon. The [SAS] were taking the front, Claudia was taking the ear. Being careful to avoid the other players. When I joined this evening. While every one was going into the stairs to head for the hostage. She was going for the only other area in the map.
8 players on the server, a server known for its team work. And she was effectively choosing to play alone. By the end of it she finnally started to join in a bit.
When I know damn well a few days ago, she would've been one of the lead assualters heading for that hostage... it pains me to see this. Some one with such potentional, for as long as I can remember. When ever a Women as tried to join the [SAS], some things always happened that sent it going tits up.
The first, car accident while she was deployed.
The other, well not much to be said.
Claudia, to much bullshit under the bridge.
The only other candiate for first women in [SAS] (history afaik). I will never ask her about it. Because I have to much respect for her, her family, and her clan.
I'm a very simple sort, I love RvS and I love S4. Which I play, is usually dependant on other people. If JB's in RvS, I'll probably head there unless I feel like being alone. If Lazko and Miles are on SWAT4:TSS I'll probably head that way.
Maybe I've just been around long enough to notice.. The old customs of team play on our servers. But this has got to be the worst thing I've seen in 2-3 years of time on the server.
I can't stand to see this, its just not right. Although the kidn of person I am. I'd provide cover just the same, unless told to stop being myself... Just the same, I'd end up following Sniper or Medic if they were around. Or vice versa, just the norm. I'd prefer to be in the middle of the Hostage Rescue, its how I like to play. But still much of the time, I'd rather follow a good team mate then take the objective my self.
Business is business, its different from personal issues for me. Needless to say, I don't let me feelings for others get involved. If I had issue one promtion suggestion, it'd go for who I thought most able to handle the job... or not at all. I'm the same way when it comes to managing the server.
If they are nice, I am nice, if they want to cause trouble, I show them the door, if they don't like the door, I push them through it. I'm lucky though, I've rarly had to do that. I hope I'll never have to do that to Claudia, nore any one else (ban). But I can't consider Server Regulars any different froom other people... more leniant perhapes but of course. I have to respect my peers. This is very sad... She showed such great potentional at first. But what can I do about it? nothing.... lol
I've only seen her good side on the server, but can't argue with the admin actions of my friends. I suppose I should be thankful in a way, having a Woman on the server has reminded me. I'm much more a gentleman then I used to think. Peronsally I think thats saying some thing, considering as such things go. I may as well have been raised in a barn. But lately the ol'bones have shown their colours. Maybe its just a southren thing... dunno, but its how I am. I'd rather be the proverbal "nice guy" then a lot of other things lol.
Dough and the rest
Well, in a few days I'll be having my 19th Birthday.
I'll be working a usual shift, one cleaning job, one pet run. Might end up having an All You Can Eat Resterraunt trip later on. Won't be any water at home, since they are working on the pipes. Just another day on the calendar...
One nice supprise, my *usual* gift came in, My only living Grand Father usually sends me about $200 for my Birthday, and at Christmas time to.
The envolope was so thin, I nearly mistook it for a postcard.. So I knew it was from him. He never sends me a card, just a check. I'm gratful... but
Just one year I would like a card !!!
Even if there was no check, the card would be nice. But, I guess it shows he knows I'm alive.. never seen him beyond a picture. I remember talking with him on the phone briefly some years back. I don't know how much longer I'll ever have the chance to meet him, so well. It would be nice lol.
Maybe I'm strange, but money is just money. Its paper, it can buy stuff. Trade cash for goods ya. But with a card, at least you know they care... well I know its not his style to send a card.. or a note lol.
For the large part, I have no money during the year. The only real cold hard / petty cash supply I have. Is what ever I get for my Birthday and for Christmas. So maybe $500 for a whole years income. Not a lot really, especially the way I am. With me, I have no problem spending a lot of money... its easy enough in life. But when I *do* spend money, I spend it wisely.
Normally, I split it with my mom. Because I know she's tight on funds all the time. For Christmas, I usually use my share for shopping. I love to give... I love to get... but damn I hate shopping for people !!!! Although I do like to go and oogle at the local Best Buy xD. I figure when I was a kid, I collected enough crap.... man as well spend it on others.
Considering what the outlook on life is, I think it would be wise to save it all for a rainy day. But I've got other plans..
Not sure i f I'll be able to do both of the things I'm thinking about. But on one hand, it should help some one whose really got a bill to pay off. And on the other side, to help those that have been very good to me for a long time. Its not some thing I can do all the time... if I could I would, but I just can't afford to.
I'm the kind of guy, if I had a lot of money. I'd use it for good, well. If I was rich I'd also have about 20 PC's laying around but lol thats me. A charity would have VIM to thank, and if I had a wife. She'd me well taken care of lol. And I could remind those around me, just how much I care for them. You could say my family and friends mean a lot to me. Strangle them to death one minute, fight to the death for them the next.
I'd love it if some day. I'd have the money to be able to help... and not have to worry about my family eating at the end of the week.
*sigh*, I've never had a lot of money, don't expect to. And I don't really want a lot. I'd settle for just enough... keep my family taken care of without having to worry about paying the bills.
I suppose, I'll never know that. But while I do have some spare change around. I'd like to put it to good use.
I'll be working a usual shift, one cleaning job, one pet run. Might end up having an All You Can Eat Resterraunt trip later on. Won't be any water at home, since they are working on the pipes. Just another day on the calendar...
One nice supprise, my *usual* gift came in, My only living Grand Father usually sends me about $200 for my Birthday, and at Christmas time to.
The envolope was so thin, I nearly mistook it for a postcard.. So I knew it was from him. He never sends me a card, just a check. I'm gratful... but
Just one year I would like a card !!!
Even if there was no check, the card would be nice. But, I guess it shows he knows I'm alive.. never seen him beyond a picture. I remember talking with him on the phone briefly some years back. I don't know how much longer I'll ever have the chance to meet him, so well. It would be nice lol.
Maybe I'm strange, but money is just money. Its paper, it can buy stuff. Trade cash for goods ya. But with a card, at least you know they care... well I know its not his style to send a card.. or a note lol.
For the large part, I have no money during the year. The only real cold hard / petty cash supply I have. Is what ever I get for my Birthday and for Christmas. So maybe $500 for a whole years income. Not a lot really, especially the way I am. With me, I have no problem spending a lot of money... its easy enough in life. But when I *do* spend money, I spend it wisely.
Normally, I split it with my mom. Because I know she's tight on funds all the time. For Christmas, I usually use my share for shopping. I love to give... I love to get... but damn I hate shopping for people !!!! Although I do like to go and oogle at the local Best Buy xD. I figure when I was a kid, I collected enough crap.... man as well spend it on others.
Considering what the outlook on life is, I think it would be wise to save it all for a rainy day. But I've got other plans..
Not sure i f I'll be able to do both of the things I'm thinking about. But on one hand, it should help some one whose really got a bill to pay off. And on the other side, to help those that have been very good to me for a long time. Its not some thing I can do all the time... if I could I would, but I just can't afford to.
I'm the kind of guy, if I had a lot of money. I'd use it for good, well. If I was rich I'd also have about 20 PC's laying around but lol thats me. A charity would have VIM to thank, and if I had a wife. She'd me well taken care of lol. And I could remind those around me, just how much I care for them. You could say my family and friends mean a lot to me. Strangle them to death one minute, fight to the death for them the next.
I'd love it if some day. I'd have the money to be able to help... and not have to worry about my family eating at the end of the week.
*sigh*, I've never had a lot of money, don't expect to. And I don't really want a lot. I'd settle for just enough... keep my family taken care of without having to worry about paying the bills.
I suppose, I'll never know that. But while I do have some spare change around. I'd like to put it to good use.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Virtual SNCO
Conversation started between [SAS]_SSM_Spidey01 and [SAS]_SSM_Rasa: Tue, Jun 12 13:43:36 2007
[13:43] [SAS]_SSM_Rasa: Hello... RSM !
[13:43] [SAS]_SSM_Spidey01: You mean SSM
[13:43] [SAS]_SSM_Rasa: No, I mean... RSM !
[13:43] [SAS]_SSM_Spidey01: wt* ?
/* Here I am wondering what on earth has happened to RSM Rouge */
[13:44] [SAS]_SSM_Rasa: f, that's what you wanted to say, having an asterix doesn't make it better
[13:44] [SAS]_SSM_Rasa: But I don't mind, cuz your now the... RSM
[13:44] [SAS]_SSM_Spidey01: lol
[13:45] [SAS]_SSM_Spidey01: [SAS]_Capt_Rouge, now that does make me feel a lot better !
[13:45] [SAS]_SSM_Rasa: hmmmm hmmm!
[13:46] [SAS]_SSM_Rasa: Imagine that like a black fat '80ies movie woman would say it
[13:46] [SAS]_SSM_Spidey01: lololol
[14:00] [SAS]_RSM_Spidey01: Dang it now I've got to change all my uniforms !
[14:00] [SAS]_SSM_Rasa: lol
For some reason... they seem to like Promoting me =/
The position of Regimental Sergeant Major is comparable to the US Armies Command Sergeant Major. I think it would also be eqivulent to a senior Oberstabsfeldwebel. But I'm not very familer with the the Bundeswehr.
To be honest I know little about the British Armies rank structure or for that matter any other countries ! But, since the [SAS] is modeled on the British Special Air Service, of course we use rank structure based on the British Army.... lol
I was very glad to see the ring of promotions when I hit the forums, especially Rouges. But I still don't know how I fit in lol. Some days I could swear GCHQ drinks heavy when they meet.
GOD also blessed me in a way today. I was able to speak with a friend about issues concerning himself and mutal friends of ours. I don't wish to speak further of it... but needless to say. I'm glad to have been where I was at the time.
WIZ is back online and a fresh Major. I'm happy hehe
Some how, its Wiz and Miles that talk with me more then any one else does when its not purely a *business* matter at hand. Like if some thing is broken or needs a kicking. After all, Spiders got 8 legs, 9 x 8 = Size 72 boot ;-) Now thats how you deal with trouble on the servers !
Now to celibrate our promotions, with what else but a bit of personal training hehehe !!!
Can't sleep....
Why is it I can never sleep ??
Ever since I was little, unless I'm.. lmao I don't even know the word in English.. just spoken in Italian ! Never realized that. Basically, ready to drop is when I sleep.
I've been thinking about the past, and fearing the future. To put it mildly GOD, [SAS], and maybe the Dogs are really the only good things to have impacted my life in recent years. Once I contemplated suicide but I couldn't figure out a fool proof way. When I finally did, I had just found my reason for living. I guess it could be guessed from my word ordering which that was.
As for the other, the one place where my sanity is preserved... Online is the one place I'm free. I can be me and not have to deal with the consequences (read aggravation) from those that are against it. I live in the freest country in the world.. but I'm not a free man. But with the [SAS] I have some thing to look forward to. I'd rather be spending time with my teammates clearing rooms then a lot of the other crap I spend my days doing.
I just wish there was some thing more to my life, some thing different. Its hard to put my finger on it.. but I know its missing one way or the other. And there's nothing I can see to do about it.
I remember some thing I once wrote, today I know not if it would have been better to have burned it or not. But.. its, dang blast. It must be going on 3 years now. You could say if the saying "You can't get blood from a stone" was true... the Stone was once made of flesh. Now of ash.. Maybe I should just try to sleep, but then I lay awake and think. My thoughts overwhelm me. One thing I love about the [SAS].... While its like my home away from home, its *not* like my home ! If it was, I don't think it would be the same. For me, I'm an [SAS] man till the day I die, or the day they ban me lol. Someday, I think I'd be one of the happiest people in the world. If I lived to see one of my Children (if my life ever leads that way) Join the team. Randoms probably the longest time member, hope he aways is lol. But I'd rather like to still be one 30 years from now. Some how I wouldn't be surprised if the teams still here in the 2030s even if I'm not alive to see it.
..... Why can't I just sleep !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do I need to bang my head against the wall till I lose consonance ? I'm tired to death of thinking yet I can't stop thinking. I lay back, and see my past behind me. And I see whats missing in my future ahead of me. I just don't know what to do any more.
Life is killing me, bit by bit it is. I know it is, but how do you fight some thing. When the only ways you know how, are irrelevant to the problem. My failures haunt me, my successes drift in the moon light. What is the sum of my life I wonder? What will I say when that final day does come? I'm not sure. Other then I'll probably have to say "I fucked up" about a number of things. But, with luck that's a good ways away. Part of a life time to overcome. Still, I stand only to be pushed aside, knocked over.
Why ? I don't even know any more, and how the f!$$@ did I learn to type what passes through my mind almost as fast as it occurs to me !? Have I really been around the computer that much... well, I've practically been around one since I was 5 years old. I just don't know any more. Life sucks...
I need rest, I need to relax, but that will never happen. I don't rest, I exist
To be patronized, assaulted, corrupted, but what else is there? I'm tired of all the bullsh1+ just tired of it.. But if I break from the course, I hurt others. The people I care about, even if they tend to hurt me.
I'm not free to do as I wish, nor am I liable to torment. But wtf is there to do ? I'm losing my mind bit by bit. There's no one there to see it. No one to care.. I don't, know any more what I'm doing.
Why can't my life change for the better? The steps I take, are always out maneuvered. Damn it, why can't I just have rest, to be at peace for a change. I need some thing, but I don't know what it is. Don't know how to correct it all.
In the [SAS], I'm treated as a human being, I'm not a fool, not slave. Just, a Spidey. The rest of the time (irl), I'm probably lucky..
I can't take this any more, I've got to try and sleep. Enoughs enough, but a mallet would probably be better.
One versus many.....
Ever since I was little, unless I'm.. lmao I don't even know the word in English.. just spoken in Italian ! Never realized that. Basically, ready to drop is when I sleep.
I've been thinking about the past, and fearing the future. To put it mildly GOD, [SAS], and maybe the Dogs are really the only good things to have impacted my life in recent years. Once I contemplated suicide but I couldn't figure out a fool proof way. When I finally did, I had just found my reason for living. I guess it could be guessed from my word ordering which that was.
As for the other, the one place where my sanity is preserved... Online is the one place I'm free. I can be me and not have to deal with the consequences (read aggravation) from those that are against it. I live in the freest country in the world.. but I'm not a free man. But with the [SAS] I have some thing to look forward to. I'd rather be spending time with my teammates clearing rooms then a lot of the other crap I spend my days doing.
I just wish there was some thing more to my life, some thing different. Its hard to put my finger on it.. but I know its missing one way or the other. And there's nothing I can see to do about it.
I remember some thing I once wrote, today I know not if it would have been better to have burned it or not. But.. its, dang blast. It must be going on 3 years now. You could say if the saying "You can't get blood from a stone" was true... the Stone was once made of flesh. Now of ash.. Maybe I should just try to sleep, but then I lay awake and think. My thoughts overwhelm me. One thing I love about the [SAS].... While its like my home away from home, its *not* like my home ! If it was, I don't think it would be the same. For me, I'm an [SAS] man till the day I die, or the day they ban me lol. Someday, I think I'd be one of the happiest people in the world. If I lived to see one of my Children (if my life ever leads that way) Join the team. Randoms probably the longest time member, hope he aways is lol. But I'd rather like to still be one 30 years from now. Some how I wouldn't be surprised if the teams still here in the 2030s even if I'm not alive to see it.
..... Why can't I just sleep !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do I need to bang my head against the wall till I lose consonance ? I'm tired to death of thinking yet I can't stop thinking. I lay back, and see my past behind me. And I see whats missing in my future ahead of me. I just don't know what to do any more.
Life is killing me, bit by bit it is. I know it is, but how do you fight some thing. When the only ways you know how, are irrelevant to the problem. My failures haunt me, my successes drift in the moon light. What is the sum of my life I wonder? What will I say when that final day does come? I'm not sure. Other then I'll probably have to say "I fucked up" about a number of things. But, with luck that's a good ways away. Part of a life time to overcome. Still, I stand only to be pushed aside, knocked over.
Why ? I don't even know any more, and how the f!$$@ did I learn to type what passes through my mind almost as fast as it occurs to me !? Have I really been around the computer that much... well, I've practically been around one since I was 5 years old. I just don't know any more. Life sucks...
I need rest, I need to relax, but that will never happen. I don't rest, I exist
To be patronized, assaulted, corrupted, but what else is there? I'm tired of all the bullsh1+ just tired of it.. But if I break from the course, I hurt others. The people I care about, even if they tend to hurt me.
I'm not free to do as I wish, nor am I liable to torment. But wtf is there to do ? I'm losing my mind bit by bit. There's no one there to see it. No one to care.. I don't, know any more what I'm doing.
Why can't my life change for the better? The steps I take, are always out maneuvered. Damn it, why can't I just have rest, to be at peace for a change. I need some thing, but I don't know what it is. Don't know how to correct it all.
In the [SAS], I'm treated as a human being, I'm not a fool, not slave. Just, a Spidey. The rest of the time (irl), I'm probably lucky..
I can't take this any more, I've got to try and sleep. Enoughs enough, but a mallet would probably be better.
One versus many.....
Monday, June 11, 2007
A Troopers call
A dangerous mission loomed overhead. The commanders of the army could not decide who they should send to do battle. A single man stepped forth from his Regiment.
"I shall go, for I am a Trooper. Surely no one else has been trained to a sharper edge then I have been. Having passed the worlds most rigorous selection course and surpassed it with honours. Who from my Regiment will follow me?"
The squad marched through hell as one Element. When all emerged from the fire after the war. The young Trooper stood tall. The enemy of his country lay slain at his feet. And he said these words to his superiors as he returned home.
"For I am the finest trained, I fight with all of my might till none stand in our way. Yee who shall become my enemy. Shall perish, never again to darken another battlefield. My team stands with me and together we will never stand down till our mission is done."
Inspired by [SAS]_Trp_DUKE as we cleared the 5th Street warehouse map in SWAT4:TSS.
Nothing fills me with pride like watching a new trooper in the server. While its been a long time since I was a young trooper, no one so shows what the level of skill and craftsmanship as a trooper who has passed the Selection Course :-)
As an SNCO, its my honour to see those I've trained with so long grow. From when they first set foot in the SAS servers. To Recruit, to Trooper, and beyond. Its wonderful!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
CT 2007-06-10
Manged to get some training ops in today.
Faces I can specifically remember being there ->
[SAS] Involved:
Rct Sniper
LCpl Miles
Vet Ghost
SSM Spidey01
Non [SAS] Involved:
ST*MFA*
Claudia
Raiden
Matsuro
WinterShadow
Maps:
Presido -- Tango Hunt
MP Warehouse -- Hostage Rescue
Import-Export -- Tango Hunt
MP Prison -- Hostage Rescue
We did a mix of stealth/dynamic assaults in one and two Elements at a time. Operations were largely successful with low to medium casualties. We managed to keep a pretty good pace about it. Next time I should cook up a harder batch of missions hehe. I think every one did very well and I hope to see more in the future.
I generally gave direction for the missions. In the hopes of keeping the planning phase relatively simple.
I've been doing it a long time, so I'm pretty comfortable at planning and leading an operation in RvS. Some thing I find a bit hard to hand down.. I'd really like to try and set up some operations where the less experienced can give it a shot and have time to work through things in full. The problem is how to do that right, without locking the server down to like 3 or 4 [SAS] lol...
I've never considered my self a leader, just look at Random if you want a true leader! But I think in my case Rouges sig puts it best. "Lead me, follow me -- or get out of my way". I don't mind leading and planning a mission, but I do want others to have a chance to do it too.
The only problem is in training ops, getting 2 Element Leaders (Senior / Junior), giving them a brief, a set of goals and operating guidelines + them planning the shindig and executing it takes all day. And I'm sorry to say... most weekends I can't devote that much time.
In to days case I got off work early, since I only *tend* to have light duties on the weekends. So I got to spend a lot of time on the server both before, during, and after training today. I don't think I've gotten to spend that much effort on it since I was a Trooper hehe. Felt dang right un natural to spend all day on the PC. And I'm the kind that nearly dreams he's working at the computer !
One thing I do want to do is try to get some thing set up for SWAT4 Continuation Training. But its very difficult because, well to put it simply SWAT4s stock missions SUCK compared to RvS's on what I can use them for. But in S4 its so much easier to get into the nitty gritty elements of the training. *sigh* this will take much thought.
Faces I can specifically remember being there ->
[SAS] Involved:
Rct Sniper
LCpl Miles
Vet Ghost
SSM Spidey01
Non [SAS] Involved:
ST*MFA*
Claudia
Raiden
Matsuro
WinterShadow
Maps:
Presido -- Tango Hunt
MP Warehouse -- Hostage Rescue
Import-Export -- Tango Hunt
MP Prison -- Hostage Rescue
We did a mix of stealth/dynamic assaults in one and two Elements at a time. Operations were largely successful with low to medium casualties. We managed to keep a pretty good pace about it. Next time I should cook up a harder batch of missions hehe. I think every one did very well and I hope to see more in the future.
I generally gave direction for the missions. In the hopes of keeping the planning phase relatively simple.
I've been doing it a long time, so I'm pretty comfortable at planning and leading an operation in RvS. Some thing I find a bit hard to hand down.. I'd really like to try and set up some operations where the less experienced can give it a shot and have time to work through things in full. The problem is how to do that right, without locking the server down to like 3 or 4 [SAS] lol...
I've never considered my self a leader, just look at Random if you want a true leader! But I think in my case Rouges sig puts it best. "Lead me, follow me -- or get out of my way". I don't mind leading and planning a mission, but I do want others to have a chance to do it too.
The only problem is in training ops, getting 2 Element Leaders (Senior / Junior), giving them a brief, a set of goals and operating guidelines + them planning the shindig and executing it takes all day. And I'm sorry to say... most weekends I can't devote that much time.
In to days case I got off work early, since I only *tend* to have light duties on the weekends. So I got to spend a lot of time on the server both before, during, and after training today. I don't think I've gotten to spend that much effort on it since I was a Trooper hehe. Felt dang right un natural to spend all day on the PC. And I'm the kind that nearly dreams he's working at the computer !
One thing I do want to do is try to get some thing set up for SWAT4 Continuation Training. But its very difficult because, well to put it simply SWAT4s stock missions SUCK compared to RvS's on what I can use them for. But in S4 its so much easier to get into the nitty gritty elements of the training. *sigh* this will take much thought.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Ich bin muede
I drift alone in a sea of disaster...
My arm reaches for my savior but I have trouble grasping hold.
I find my self on a deserted shore...
I try to stand, yet me knees give way before me.
So I crawl throughout the dark, my legs a dottle behind me...
What was once my hearts only passion.
Turned black as ash, destroyed in the fires.
Pain you can't just heal...
of a future that could've been.
Alas to a life of labour...
Forced to fight, doomed to die.
But to what cause ?
To what do I find my life consumed...
Tis naught a bright future.
yet not black as cole...
I am but a fool.
Like a wild ass in the desert...
I draw close to a stream.
Only to find it flowing with poison...
Escape ! Yet so inevitable a fate.
What is to become ?
Should a simple being relent or...
shall one continue to strive to be the best.
But to what end is life ?
-- Spidey01, 2007-06-09
The sad thing.... I'm not drinking !!! I'm perfectly sober. Just collecting my minds thoughts. Mm, I remember it wasn't always like this. I dunno if it was an improvement or a loss any more. No point to idle in the past.
This months been heck but is far removed from it. I guess I need to keep going, but I don't know to what end. I... need a vacation.
My idea of the perfect rest.. right now would be a deserted island, a nice stiff tropical drink. A good book and no one around for miles. Just me, no one to bother me, not even a computer.
but it'd be some damn boring.....
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
What a day.
Freezer burned out, 3 trash bags of frozen stuff gone. Plus the refrigerator's freezer is packed full(er).
And to night about 0200~0300 local the Air Conditioning is kaput's.
NICE !
Plus it looks like we're be missing work or rescheduling.. days pay gone !+ good, but it'd be n ic eto have a little rest.
0410 Local, or in UTC:
I love having my server set to UTC!!!
Dunno if I can sleep, I'm wide awake and a maintenance crew is due approx 0900 local.. Why bother ?
Freezer burned out, 3 trash bags of frozen stuff gone. Plus the refrigerator's freezer is packed full(er).
And to night about 0200~0300 local the Air Conditioning is kaput's.
NICE !
Plus it looks like we're be missing work or rescheduling.. days pay gone !+ good, but it'd be n ic eto have a little rest.
0410 Local, or in UTC:
Terry@vectra-$ date Wed Jun 6 08:09:58 UTC 2007
I love having my server set to UTC!!!
Dunno if I can sleep, I'm wide awake and a maintenance crew is due approx 0900 local.. Why bother ?
Monday, June 4, 2007
The Software that saved my Arsch
Was doing a little 'cover' work so to speak, had to look up a pair of User IDs. Quickest way to do it, since I was to lazy to just run the SQL Query in the right table 8=)
Was to bring up the user accounts details in the editing interface.....
So I accidentally renamed account1 account2 when I meant to bring up account2 in the web interface...
Needless to say bringing up account2 showed me account1's details !
I changed the username back to account1 and vola it restored every thing as good as knew. At least as far as the site is concerned. *Whew* deffo good thing to have good software... One thing I like about CLI, you always know exactly what you asked for, without having to worry about where you clicked hehe.
Well, if the two users spim my X-Fire in the morning about why their passwords have been switched, I'll know why ! LOL
My first moment of feeling like Bart Simpson.
I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything.
But of course... I'm honest or else I wouldn't be posted this <_< If any one asks, well they know who to shoot at.
Was to bring up the user accounts details in the editing interface.....
So I accidentally renamed account1 account2 when I meant to bring up account2 in the web interface...
Needless to say bringing up account2 showed me account1's details !
I changed the username back to account1 and vola it restored every thing as good as knew. At least as far as the site is concerned. *Whew* deffo good thing to have good software... One thing I like about CLI, you always know exactly what you asked for, without having to worry about where you clicked hehe.
Well, if the two users spim my X-Fire in the morning about why their passwords have been switched, I'll know why ! LOL
My first moment of feeling like Bart Simpson.
I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything.
But of course... I'm honest or else I wouldn't be posted this <_< If any one asks, well they know who to shoot at.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
I have to little time on my hands
Some times I think I must be drunk off of thin air ^_^
Maybe I should just sleep instead of looking for good code to read.
/* * All nicknames changed for confidentiality */ (07:35:07) My Nick: One day, old Linus was aboard the H.P.C. Tux, sitting hacking at Linux -- Power PenguinPC's are just so much better then regular penguins :-P (07:35:35) My Nick: When a Kraken came a knock'n on his cabin door. And threw him in the county lockup (07:36:54) My Nick: One day, the great Microsoft corruption posted that they had 'acquired' the rights to all Linux code past and present through a will. (07:37:03) A Nickname: laugh out loud (07:37:13) A Nickname: Microsoft would wreck it (07:37:44) My Nick: RMS & ESR got together and sat a think'n on how to save the day (07:38:01) My Nick: RMS: Surely they have taken him prison ! (07:38:08) My Nick: ESR: But where ?? How ! (07:38:20) My Nick: RMS: There is only one place !, Bills Bunker (07:38:31) My Nick: ESR: We must go at once and rescue him forth with ! To the emacsen (07:38:44) My Nick: RMS: Careful, to only route to Bill's Bunker is by hacking in QBASIC (07:38:47) My Nick: ESR: ... (07:39:24) My Nick: The two legends started hacking away at QBASIC leaving a trail of bugs behind them. Till they fell off the end of the Internet and landed right next to Linus in Hackers Hell (07:39:48) My Nick: Linus: Hey ! get me to !$#$ out of here (07:39:59) My Nick: RMS: Uhh, I didn't think of that.... (07:40:19) My Nick: ESR: I know how but it is indeed not pleasant.... We must go back and fix all our bugs. Using QBASIC (07:40:34) My Nick: Linus: Oh GOD no, we can just rewrite Windows (07:40:44) A Nickname: heh (07:40:51) My Nick: Six billion man hours later, they broke out and hit the court house. (07:41:48) My Nick: Steve Ballmer: All your base are belong to us! (07:41:53) A Nickname: heh (07:42:35) My Nick: The mighty war PC's of the free Software Fleet and BSD Hackers stood tall (07:43:22) My Nick: A massive battle ensured, the E.S.S. SUSE was capsized as Hovsepian jumped ship (07:43:41) My Nick: In the end, all were destroyed but a single Operating System. (07:43:45) My Nick: Emacs !!!!!!! (07:43:48) A Nickname: Linux (07:43:50) My Nick: < the end > (07:43:57) My Nick: lmao, I really need a life (07:44:05) A Nickname: laugh out loud
Maybe I should just sleep instead of looking for good code to read.
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