Famous last words? "Damn it, Amazon. Don't show me coffee makers!"

There's a web abbreviation that I took a long time to learn, called "TIL" or "Today, I learned". Well, I'm gonna call this one closer to "Today, I giggled" :P.

Trojan Room coffee pot - Wikipedia

And somehow this makes perfect sense to me.

 There are days when I can sympathize with Mr. Spock's plight in The City On The Edge Of Forever.

"I am endeavoring, ma'am, to construct a mnemonic memory circuit using stone knives and bearskins."

 Haven't really scrolled through Pluspora in a while, but this one made me giggles snort.

Willow’s log, supplemental

Human slept in late. He was tired.

We went for a morning walk, it was nice. I got to sniff many plants, and pee on a few of them.

After Misty’s walk, human disappeared to do stuff. I was told to stand guard.

Human came back. He gave us hash browns. Also treats. I love treats.

Human sat at his desk typing things. I took a nap. He was still typing when I woke up.

There was a loud ringing sound, and then human had to go do some actual paper work.

When he came back, I got another walk. It was great, but I wish that we had gotten a few more laps in.

Foolish human went back to typing. I went back to a nap, after treats were given.

Human made this thing called sweet tea. He asked my thoughts, but drank half a glass without sharing.

There was more napping and typing.

Watched human start making dinner, and cleaning the kitchen. Foolish human, you should take nap like me.

Human made much deliciousness, but did not share the food. I was sad.

Oh my gosh, treats! Honest to goodness, meaty delicious treats! GIVE ME!!!! OM NOM NOM!!!!

I am so full. I wish human would give me more treats. For some reason: he says I must eat dog food now.

Human says paw prints are hard to clean off keyboards. I do not understand this.

Wait, am I getting a treat for all this good typing?

https://youtu.be/H_BJtIctkno

Okay, if there could possibly be more boob references it would require a longer video....LOL

Rebooting for the modern age:

BSD: time for kernel updates.
Linux: power outage finally won.
Android: dog ate the charger.
Windows: every update and driver fart.
Chromebook: whenever it gets funky.
iPad OS: more often Chromebook but same concept.

In vague order of frequency, lol

This is what happens when you cross a tablet with a 1980s phone
https://www.techradar.com/news/this-is-what-happens-when-you-cross-a-tablet-with-a-1980s-phone

Kinda instantly snickered slash rolled on floor cackling as I saw this. Apparently, being a real product it sounds like the only thing missing is the ability to plug it into a phone jack.

45 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Unsure if funny or sense of humor just getting old.

In Battlestar Galactica '04 there is a reoccurring greeting between Adama and Starbuck that goes something like this:

What do you hear?
Just the rain.
Then grab your gun and bring in the cat.

Watching s04e13 The Oath, when Galactica defends into mutiny there's a scene where Kara saves Apollo's ass, showing up with a pistol in each hand as he's being led away by a hit squad.

I may have recalled this greeting and pictured Lee with whiskers....lol

Explaining to dogs that refried beans are not for them is bound to never go well. Ending with "If I gave you this: you would fart, and we would all die", is probably not the best idea either.

Screen Rant: The Doom Doot Meme Explained | ScreenRant

Why, oh Internet, am I only just now hearing about this meme? Also someone put this on a T-shirt, stat!

Lincoln versus the lighthouse

This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Most awesome urban legend ever.

Do you really want to put one of these to your ear or anywhere near your precious fingers?

source: Android Police.

Or one of these?

I like my fingers in tact, thank you!

Google just made my day

Was trying to look up a word I had stumbled across too far ago to remember, so I typed the definition into Google in the hopes of finding a clue to it. I didn't expect my chuckle of the day!

How Google shapes history

I seriously hope that is some Google Engineer's idea of a joke about sex shaping history.....lol



This is from a real screen shot, not a photoshop!

The recession has hit everybody really hard...

I think the Pakistan bit at the end is in poor taste but especially loved the one above it.

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.


CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico ..

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.



Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally....

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Source—Stocky Stan @ 94.9 The Bull; Read more: http://www.949thebull.com/pages/stockystan.html#ixzz1LVy1Y88G

Epic Toast Incident

Kristen Gates' pick for this mornings You Choose The News has to be the best report since sliced bread:

TWITTER HEADQUARTERS EVACUATED OVER BURNED TOAST

Twitter's main office in San Francisco had to be evacuated when an employee's burned toast set off the fire alarm. As expected, some employees talked about the toast incident on Twitter. One employee wrote, "Quick math: 30 min fire alarm, 400 employees ~ $2500 for burnt toast. ooops," while another lamented, "Nothing like a Friday building evacuation in the rain. Damn toast."

Wow, you really can spend $2500 on one piece of toast!

Priceless

Humorous language comparison

Special thanks to Carpet Smoker of Daemon Forums.

How to tell if your phone is female, or if Linux is smarter than Windows XP

O.K. so my phone has been giving me a message every time I plug it in, asking whether I want to turn on USB mass storage for mounting or charge her off the USB. So today I plugged it into my desktop, and I'm scratching my head trying to figure out where I turn it on because it just starts charging.

You know that your phone is female, if you plug her in and she starts to CHARGE instead of asking you to MOUNT her >_>.

Conversely you know that Linux must be smarter than XP, when the phone does ask about mounting if plugged into a Linux laptop instead of a Windows XP machine <_<.

Yeah, lol.