Friday, April 30, 2010

It has been a bit of a long day, but at least I managed to sleep an extra hour... lol. Today, I began work on my memoirs, most portions relating to 2004-2005 are sorted along with part of 2006, leaving the years 2007-2010 worth.

Been thinking a bit about the people I've met, and how they've impacted my life. I've encountered countless people, standing in the front line trenches all these years, and have developed some important relationships along the way. As my memoirs are reaching the time he was a recruit, I can't help but look back, and see how far we've come since then, a certain friend and I. Man, 2006? Has it really been that dang long... feels like just yesterday, that we stood shoulder to shoulder in [SAS]'s service. My good right arm during his tenor, and a trusted friend through thick and thin, even after all these years. Some how, I've always known if we ended up in jail or something, he'd be the one sitting next to me, saying we screwed up, not the one to come bail me out lol.


Man, I feel old. It's like feeling that I pre-date mountains \o/. For how long I was an integral fixture in [SAS] life, and just a worker bee before that, I spent so many years there, I have seen mountains climb and tumble.... I am that old.


It's a whole lotta history, and I can still see so much of it in my mind. I remember a friend, one much more recently developed, once asking if I "Forget anything". Really, I rarely forget anything important: I might let things rest out of respect rather then bring it up again, but I that's as close as I get. I can see the years behind me, like a trail of stepping stones in the cliff face.


A lot of people fairly close to me, don't quite understand why I am 'wasting' time writing these memoirs, that at least, has been the widest consensus. Perhaps, no one can truly understand that, not without being inside my head; which isn't an experience I'd recommend even if it were possible lol.

This was part of my life, an important one, even if much to voluminous in both those respects. I can look back down the trail, and see who I was when I came to [SAS], and see ahead further down the path to where I am going. It's important for me, to be able to do that. I have always said, those who forget their history, tend to repeat it. I spent many years of my life, finding myself, and the paths one walks, reflects in part, who you are. It's not us, who shapes are experiences, but our experiences who shapes us.


My life has been far from sweet flowers, it's had plenty of hills and valleys to carve through; as I have said for years, when people ask "How are you" --> I'm still breathing, never known it to get better than that. Yet just the same, it has not been without it's gems, those rare diamonds that make it worth the journey.


Tonight, I'm listening to one of my favourite songs, it's one of the two songs that I once sang on [SAS] TeamSpeak; heh, wonder if JB remembers that :-P. I am, still after all these years, even able to remember the map I was playing on, the kit I was using. My brains just a huge hash table.


Most of the best moments in the past six or seven years, have all been around [SAS]. Perhaps that is a terrible thing (I truly think that it is), but it is also a wonderful thing. Just think,  how miserable a chapter it would have been, to have lived it solo.


You can't walk forward, if you forget how to move your feet.

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