Building vim with support for Python and Perl on Windows

Previously:

install a suitable version of Visual Studio / Visual C++
install a suitable version of Python
install a suitable version of Perl
open a Visual Studio Command Prompt

I have VC Express 9.0, ActivePerl 5.10.0, and Python 2.6.2 installed from Python.org's installer.


Check out the VIM source code, you can find directions here. I suggest using CVS or SVN to make the patching life easier. Precompiled binaries of CVS and SVN are available for Windows, and it is possible to build them yourself of course ;).


I use CVS and wish to keep the tree along side my regular vim:

> cd /d P:\editors\vim
> cvs -z3 -d:pserver:anonymous@vim.cvs.sf.net:/cvsroot/vim checkout -Nd vim7-cvs-src vim7
> cd vim7-cvs-src\src

You should know read the Make_mvc.mak makefile to find the options you are interested in using. I'll leave the viewing the file from the command line to a Windows users intelligence (hints: more, edit, notepad, wordpad, or gvim would be useful). We have to tell nmake.exe to use this file and our options, for asses who use Visual Studio all day but don't remember nmake: we pass it VAR=value pairs.

> nmake /F Make_mvc.mak CPUNR=i686 FEATURES=HUGE GUI=yes OLE=yes CSCOPE=yes CTAGS=ctags POSTSCRIPT=yes PYTHON=P:\Devel\Languages\Python\2.6\ PYTHON_VER=26 PERL=P:\Devel\Languages\Perl\ PERL_VER=510

Obviously if you want same options, adjust the paths like a good little geek.

At least on my system, MSVCs compiler refuses to build the vimrun.exe, install.exe, uninstal.exe, and xxd/xxd.exe targets (and programs). As such, I build gvim and the gvimext.dll - the targets are in the makefile. if one wants to build a vim execuitable under a diffirent name, I suggest 'nmake /e VIM=foo /f ... OPTS=... foo.exe' to create foo.exe (default is gvim).


As such we need a place to put vim so we can actually use it.

> MKDIR ..\..\vim-personal
> FOR %F IN (*.dll *.exe) DO XCOPY /Y %F ..\..\vim-personal
> XCOPY /Y P:\Devel\Languages\Perl\bin\perl510.dll ..\..\vim-personal
> XCOPY /I /E /Y ..\runtime\* ..\..\vim-personal

and one can borrow the lost vimrun and diff files from a working install. If one also juggled the names so that vim-personal became vim72, one could also borrow the install.exe file most likely...



In doing all of this, I've written a batch script to use in automating the thing, which is not as good as my vimbuild shell script but still works lol. When I get some time I'll make my script also update the spell files and what nots (hint: see spell\readme.txt)

Hahaha, here I am wondering ok, what the hell is wrong with

if (statement that will return false)
    DEBUG(...);
    do action;

and then I noticed, uncommenting the DEBUG() macro a few minutes ago changed the dohicky.



This is exactly why whenever I've written a 'style' file for any of the projects I've done (and in fact, usually follow) a note that it should *always* be if () { } and never if () just for this reason!!!


Ok, I'm so freaking stupid... I should just get some sleep and code when I can pay attention (and remember my old tool Perl).

Been playing a little bit of raven shield, set to some hard rock by way of www.pandora.com it makes a nice mixture. I'm still in a really pissy mood, think I might take up some OpenArena or something to pass the time for a bit more...

I'm so tired of this place.

Dark mood

I'm really not in a good mood right now. Tired and pissed off make for a piss poor pair. It just seems the more I'm here, the worse I feel; the more I know that something is missing from my world. Been fairly busy of late, mostly keeping myself busy, less time to think. It's like just about anything that will fill space for a little while; rather then thinking about other issues. I'm also not looking forward to this coming week and such, because I know for what family has planned, is only likely to make me feel miserable in the long run. It's been 21 years on earth, and I just know... being around family is usually a painful affair.

Plans as part of Operation Redeemer are more or less on schedule but things just are not going fast enough in the right directions to suit my needs; lately I feel like I'm just passing time again, but for different reasons. I draw breath, but what makes me move?

Being lazy: make.cmd

A short batch file that let's me skip typing as much as possible when using vcbuild on my present projects.

@ECHO OFF
cls 
IF "%1" EQU "help" (
 ECHO %0 help           --  display this help
 ECHO %0 clean target   --  clean for "target"
 ECHO %0 target [run]   --  build and run "target"
 GOTO EXITPOINT
)

IF "%1" EQU "clean" (
 vcbuild /clean TheSolutionFile.sln "%2|Win32"
) ELSE (
 IF "%2" EQU "run" (
  vcbuild TheSolutionFile.sln "%1|Win32" && path\to\the.exe
 ) ELSE (
  vcbuild TheSolutionFile.sln "%1|Win32"
 )
)

:EXITPOINT

which is (obviously) saved in the same direction as my solution file. A trivial modification would allow passing the solution file through an environment variable, and one could always use vcbuild's understanding of a lone project file in the present directory but I tend to keep a shell open to the same location as my solution file.


Then again, at the moment I am using a file system hierarchy that looks sort of like this for most of my current stuff:

...
SolutionFile.sln
Project/
  ProjectFile.vcproj
  Makefile # the big thing for conventional builds
  Makefile.compiler
  ...
  Source/
    *.c, *.cpp, ...
    include/
      *.h, *.hpp, ...
    lib/
      # project specific library files
  Build/
    Target/
      # result of compiling (e.g. 'make target')
  ...

I feel much better at the moment, lately life has just been a bit overly negative; the more things go on, the more deeply I am reminded of what it so terribly missing. The past couple weeks has felt a lot like limbo, just passing grueling time.


One of my favourite films was on tonight, The Teahouse of the August Moon. You could say, I really needed the chance to sit, enjoy, and laugh; there hasn't been much joy in my life for a good long while now. In all honesty, I think I would take the slower way of life given the chance, hmm; what was the last time I could have seen the sun rise or set, and be at liberty to do so? The movies ending is also priceless! In a way, Sakini's words also struck a cord:

"Pain make man think. Thought make man wise. Wisdom make life endurable."

I find truth in it.

I'm kind of happy with myself at the moment. I've found that Visual Studio project files are about the only reliable way I can get things to compile with Visual C++'s compiler on my lone windows machine. Since i greatly prefer using a command prompt for development work, having to alt tab between programs like VCExpress/devenv and Explorer windows are not something I'll put up with if I don't have to lol.


Since I do require a real mans editor, I set the IDE to load gvim as the default editor for source files; soon I'll rig it to use vim's client-server feature (:he client-server). Like wise that made Visual C++ little more then a very big project management and build system. Some weeks ago whilst looking for cl/link (compiler/linker) switches and a reference to nmake (Microsoft's make utility), I found the vcbuild utility; which is the "Visual C++ Project Builder - Command Line Version". So far it seems to be very suitable, which would mean the IDE is now only needed for managing the project and solution files, right? Well, not really!


When I started using Microsoft's development environment (this box only has the Express editions; I usually do development on my FreeBSD powered laptop!) the first thing I did was look at the .sln and .vcproj files it creates. The solution file (.sln) basically describes the bigger picture in XML format; for my present projects it does little more then reference the project files (.vcproj) that make up the solutions. The project files are also in XML, ''. It defines the various details, essentially what you get in the IDEs configuration manager for a specific project, and the files in the solution explorer. I was very happy to see Visual C++ using XML files, because it means I can *read* the things before opening them with an IDE.


Since the files are XML, and the format is pretty obvious: one can modify the project file quiet easily, and adding/subtracting things like source files, include directories, and libraries is a trivial task. If it wasn't for the use of ProjectGUID's I might never need to run the IDE again :-/. Who knows, maybe I won't even need that in a while lol.

Compiler errors: the art of reading Geek and laughing at your typos

The code, "typo"

RenderManager RManager;

The resulting compiler error

1>main.cpp
1>.\Source\main.cpp(9) : error C2146: syntax error : missing ';' before identifier 'RManager'
1>.\Source\main.cpp(9) : error C4430: missing type specifier - int assumed. Note: C++ does not support default-int
1>.\Source\main.cpp(9) : error C4430: missing type specifier - int assumed. Note: C++ does not support default-int

The correction

#include "RenderManager.hpp"

RenderManager RManager;

What makes me laugh: syntax error : missing ';' before identifier.

The good thing: "missing type specifier - int assumed" actually hints that RenderManager is not yet a known type, as in I forgot to include the appropriate header... hehe.

Writer's Block: Dream Vacations

What vacations would you most like to take in the next five years?

Live Journals Writer's Block

0. A tropical island, toes in the sand, and not a care in the world....

1. Visit Tennessee, see them beautiful mountains again and go campin' out in nature for a bit, then meet up with a few friends out on the lake :-)

2. Hit the U.K. and go exploring, get lost and get a lit' bit wild and crazy ;). Then meet up with a few e-friends made in [SAS], I've always had this strange picture of us in my head, of us staggering home from a pub, and singing loudly ^_^.

3. Visit Germany, maybe see if their are any English friendly tours of Berlin that show off the cities varied architecture; then visit some of the museums in/around Berlin and München. I think I would need to be 500% more fluent in the language to pull that one off though :-/.

4. Canada, women, whiskey, and fishing.... could you ask for more? Plus an old friend is from Newfoundland, and would warrant a visit!

notes 4 later today

http://www.extremetech.com/article2/0,2845,11502,00.asp

http://www.extremetech.com/article2/0,2845,9722,00.asp

http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb174597(VS.85).aspx


http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb173249(VS.85).aspx

Todays personal training (SWAT 4)

Where; [SAS] Training Ground US

General criteria: no tactical aids permitted, other then breaching kit.

Phase I: Old Granet Hotel, stealth to first contact then high intensity clearing; round 1: success, mp5; round 2: failure, m4. Average shots per kill: 5-6/3-4, killed by a survivor of 4 5.56x45mm to the chest.

Phase II: Children of Tarrone Tenement; stealth until compromised; round 1: failure, mp5sd; round 2: failure, carsd; Average shots per kill 9 / 3; killed by the survivors of 9 9x19mm shots to the skull and 2 5.56x45mm to the skull, respectively.


Phase III: Victory Imports Auto, stealth until first contact then high intensity clearing; round 1: failure, mp5sd; round 2: failure, mp5 (was supposed to be uzisd); Average shots per kill: 4-6; Killed by the survivors of 3 shots to the chest, and a survivor of >12 shots to the body/arms/head.


I nearly threw the freakin' MP5 at the enemy when during an ambush against would-be bush whackers took about 20 rounds to the head and 3 more to the chest!

So far I am getting pretty used to wearing these glasses, all in all it isn't so bad. Whether it is a positive or negative impact on my appearance, well is beyond my immediate concern lol.

They have a tendency to slide down my noise under certain conditions, which I find irksome; makes looking UP more challenging since it causes my eyes to hit or pass the upper frames :-/. That however, I think is just a fact of living with glasses and summer time!


This new headset cost about $45 but so far seems to be worth it. The MP5 in SWAT 4 sounds like a proper machinegun rather then a 'pop gun', and the weapons in RvS sound much better. The depth of hearing music is much greater, kind of like listening to a Stereo system. I also like that the padding effectively creates 'cups' around my ears xD.

It hasn't been a very comfortable day... to say the least of it. I woke up a bit after 0600Q with a toothache and no luck gettin' back to sleep. I remembered something a friend once said about using a moistened tablet of paracetamol (acetaminophen) to rub along the site (and iirc, push in the "hole" if such was the case). Finding a bottle of tylenol here being slightly harder >_>.

Since yesterday the phone rang, and I stupidly left my headset on the chair instead of the desk - I sat down with a crunch! So today I had to get a new headset. I can care less about the Live! related features, as long as it is decent quality and durable (even if not 160lb of ass worth, lol). In installing it, I had quiet a bit of a monkey fight to get everything working; seems that the driver disk really likes Live Call / Messenger—and lacks a required USB Audio driver for Windows XP SP3. Ok, I was saved by that annoying hardware detection dialog but at least XP no longer thinks the headset is a mass storage device! Sound quality is totally different, gunfire in RvS and SWAT 4 reminds me of listening to Call of Duty on my brothers (costly) speaker system once upon a time.


Spent a bit of time playing OpenArena, set up a skirmish on my favorite map with 3 bots for help against 4 bots. I scored nearly 70 frags, at least a dozen of which involved the "Buzzsaw". I couldn't get ahold of any decent weapons but the starting kit, so I decided to start chasing the pricks with a Buzzsaw, racked up a screen full of kill-icon things with it before finally getting a proper kit. I've also started to get better with rocket-placement - even scoring several direct hits as well as the usual splash-damage SOP.


Tried to take some time to write code but no one in this rat-fucking place would let me get work done. Combine with a nasty headache, and I said fuck it all—and just took a nap.

I feel much better now but absolutely nothing has gotten done. I have all of about 2 useful lines of documentation for the library I wanted to get done, LAST WEEK.

My first pair of glasses

Yesterday my glasses were ready for pick up, but eh, who wants to go right back out after they get home for work? So we picked them up today on the way home; it's only a few miles in a perpendicular direction \.\(^_^)/./


When they had me try them on, it was like, in the words of Clark Griswald: hallelujah and holy shit! I found it initially very unstabling to turn my head and gaze about like normal, but I reckon that is normal at first. The difference however in vision, is tremendous. I've spent most of the day wearing them, and now they are fairly comfortable, more so then naked eyes lol. I only worry how wearing glasses regularly will impact my un-aided eye sight in the long run. I can see very crisp and clear, it is like someone jacked up the resolution a few orders of magnitude! On the way home, I could see license plates and street signs clear; hell I could see the specks of dirt on the road instead of just the dirt!!! Coming home it felt almost like the ground was under a microscope, so much finer detail. It's like I could count the hairs on the dogs back, leaves on a tree at 30ft, and can see the crap between the individual blades of grass! Just walking into the apartment it was unsettling, I can now see the carpet so finely, that it's better then when I used to sit on the carpet as a kid with action figures littered all over :-/. It's a huge detail hack, man I think I could even read the little-bitty display on the VCR across the room, if the clock was set, ha!

Up real close things are a bit blurry with the glasses on, perhaps I need bifocals for that lol; I'm just happy with the current improvement. And really, the choice of lifting my glasses up or moving my head back a little is not a bother. So far the only irksome issue, often whenever I yawn I tend to get a bit teary eyed (always have), but now obviously I have to remove my glasses to wipe it away, so I can see clearly again lol. Even on the computer, it's very different. I run my 19" monitor at 1600x1200 and a custom DPI setting of 144dpi (150% winsucks normal). Most things are set to fairly large fonts because I find that Google Chrome renders fonts a hell of a lot smaller then Mozilla does; the difference being defaults in Fx have always been fine, but in Chrome I have things set to like 22pt rather then a more normal size. With my glasses I can see to read the mouse type things render on daemonforums, with chrome+my monitor. Without, I had to increase the size to be able to read it without zooming my head into the screen -> which I *hate* doing. Right now it's become very easy to read even my LJ without jacking the font size! sasclan.org and facebook only need 1 increment of the size rather then 3 or 4; and then only in order to be read 'at length' rather then momentarily. Just now, I've tested changes to Chromes settings. I can set the fonts as low as 9 or 8 pt and be able to see them excellently in most fonts; and very comfortably around 11-12 pt period. The problem is, that results in microscopic text compared to the rest of my windows desktop - like looking at 5pt text instead of 12pt text. So I have Chrome set to 24pt now, and am reading the text in LJ's text area - at what appears to be "9pt" text when judged against how fonts render in Chromes selection dialog.


I was playing SWAT 4 today, and found it easier to read the texts, usually I have to be careful of my cam placement in order to read team messages; grey on grey/white/black mixtures suck. The big shocker though, was it felt like I could see the threads on the enemies hoods :-/. With RvS, I've had a problem reading chats since I started with this 19 inch monitor; the texts far away. Now, maybe I can start reading it again like I used to on the old 15", instead of having to stop and open the console xD.



My word, if this is what normal vision is like—what have I been seeing all these years!? Oh, in case I forgot to mention it, they are really thick-ass lenses lol.

This is rich

As a side note, you may be wondering if it is a security risk that applications can add and remove applications from the exceptions list any user intervention, or perhaps you think that the bigger risk is that applications can disable the firewall altogether. To perform these feats, the application must have administrator privledges. If you have malicious code running in administrator mode on your system, the game is already over and the hacker has already won. The hacker's ability to disable the firewall would merit little more than a footnote.

What it fails to mention is many millions of Windows XP installations are run with administrator privileges on the users regular account, I practically ROFL'd lol.

Having a single Wintel around pisses me off for the X''th time

No matter what I do, it seems to be impossible to *live* with Windows as a system for getting things done.


This in particular pisses me off at the moment

>cl hi.c            --- simple hello world test
Microsoft (R) 32-bit C/C++ Optimizing Compiler Version 15.00.30729.01 for 80x86
Copyright (C) Microsoft Corporation.  All rights reserved.

hi.c
Microsoft (R) Incremental Linker Version 9.00.30729.01
Copyright (C) Microsoft Corporation.  All rights reserved.

P:\TexLive\perltl\lib,P:\TexLive\perltl\site\lib,P:/Devel/Languages/Perl/site/lib,P:/Devel/Languages/Perl/lib,.
LINK : fatal error LNK1104: cannot open file 'P:\TexLive\perltl\lib,P:\TexLive\perltl\site\lib,P:/Devel/Languages/Perl/site/lib,P:/Devel/Languages/Perl/lib,.'

No matter what abuse I subject the environment settings to, it is impossible to compile anything from the fucking command line. The directories specified appear to be a fusion of TexLive added PERL5LIB values and the "usual" for the installed Perl. Building things using the IDE and a conventional project, does not have such errors; likely because it 'replaces' nmake so to speak. Needless to say, this machine must have both Perl and TexLive installed, or I will raise more mayhem then playing DooM II:Hell Revealed on Nightmare!

This kind of error causes a bit of a problem when trying to build software that only supplies Makefiles for MSVC+nmake, rather then project files for the IDE.


I've used Microsofts operating systems since early MS-DOS and have cursed it every fucking year. I've used FreeBSD since 2006 and smile joyfully every year!



For the love of FORTRAN, why is it I can never find commercial software that I do not want to hex edit into the 8th level of DooM?




footnote: the number in the subject was meant to be python26s best estimate of 1024 ** 56725691612; so cool watching this been-nothing-but-trouble-since-year-one PC burn up resources calculating this randomly chosen number!!! Even more joy, was seeing the thing pop a MemoryError before it could conclude the operation, somehow I think this fits well; the amount of times this computer has pissed me off may as well approach ∞ for all intents and purposes.

Blackout crept in from a distance?

Power just came on, after ~35 minutes of total black out. I put my shorts and sandles on, and walked arcoss the complex to see how localized it was - everything was out. The thunder has been pretty light and far off, but then again we tend to lose power during thunder storms lol.


The sad thing is, I walked into my room, bent over, and my hand nearly landed in the shoe box haha! Before that, I walked into the room and got the light I keep near my bed, I can move around easy in the dark.... I know where everything is that counts, and my night vision is excellent. I feel like a freaking cat lol. When ma put on a pair of dim candles, I could see in the living room as if the lights were on, and those candles emite about as much light as a pen light :-/.


Before the mass power outage, I was debating to code a bit first or join JB for a couple rounds; now I think I will join the server for a few games and code afterwards lol.

Is it just me or...

/* from Tutorial 2, Direct3D 9; DirectX SDK */
if( FAILED( g_pd3dDevice->CreateVertexBuffer( 3*sizeof(CUSTOMVERTEX),
         0 /*Usage*/, D3DFVF_CUSTOMVERTEX, D3DPOOL_DEFAULT, &g_pVB, NULL ) ) )
    return E_FAIL;

The tutorial describes the arguments, stating that 'The final parameter is the address of the vertex buffer to create.' Ok, I think it is obvious that it means the address of the vertex buffer being passed; further more the API documentation says the final argument is "Reserved. Set this parameter to NULL. This parameter can be used in Direct3D 9 for Windows Vista to share resources".


I can't help but chuckle a little bit at the tutorial, maybe it is just me and my brains crazy English parser lol.

Wow it's been a wildly long day!

Fell asleep on the couch last night, so I couldn't get to sleep early (nodded off after 0300Q), woke up around 0600Q and decided that was just TOOOOO early even for me! The doctors appointment was for 0945 and we had to be in the office NLT 0915, so I've been awake since around 0830.

The doctor was very kind and seems to know what he's doing quite well; personally I like people with experience ;). He examined the toe during the usual questioning. He removed the lump of dead tissue with an angled scissors, something I had to previously convince my mother that it wouldn't be a good idea to do at home with a table scissors. For better or worse it actually was more painful for him to get the thing in position, then cutting it away; and at least I can say, I have nice red blood lol. The Dr. then decided to put a small piece of cardboard underneath the (clipped) nail to keep it away from the injured side, leading to it falling out when he tried wrapping it in medical tape 8+). He proscribed some antibiotics, *not* slamming the damn thing anymore (haha!), plus the usual cleaning and bandaging. I've also instructions to pry up the nail several times a day to keep it from damaging anything, really not sure what is worse: that I have to do such a thing or that doing it doesn't bother me in the least. The nurse was also kind enough to "pad it well" just in case, when she dressed the wound. There was errands to run afterwards and the pharmacy tor drop by, so needless to say it wouldn't have helped to crack it apart *again*.


Got it filled and picked up some stuff while waiting on the pharmacist; dressings, tape, etc. Since by then the bill was starting to add up, I told ma if she would cover the proscription, I would pick up the tab on the other supplies; I also snatched a small pound cake on sale for like $2 before we left the store. Hey, if I'm spending money, may as well buy something to gnosh on too!


I've spent the rest of the day largely trying to NOT slam this freaking toe into anything else, and playing a lot of SWAT 4. It's nice to see Rct Cara progressing well; think I owe Duke even more gratitude, for what he accomplished with [SAS] "SWAT day 2009". I've been playing a lot of SWAT 4 lately, between my own operations and watching over the Trps/Rcts. At night sometimes I pop in and join the night crew (mostly fellow Americans and Canadians) for some games on our Raven Shield servers. But really, RvS has been pissing me off a lot with the bugs lately. SWAT 4 is as buggy as RvS, yeah... but at least most of the bugs are not combat critical in SWAT 4 \o/.

During my break times and tonight also, I've been studying more bits of the DirectX Software Development Kit (SDK). So far DirectX itself seems to be an alright way of getting things done. I can't stand the ridiculous influnces of Hungarian notation that permeates so many aspects of Windows programming interfaces... the concept is sound but the implemetations I commonly see in code, is just a load of bollocks. Naming identifier well and placing good information in them is a tricky thing at times (gets better with experience) but encoding type data in it, oy. The most useful of which I can think of is adding a 'p' in front for each level of *pointing used in a C app (or comparable). In one of the DX samples when I saw a variable named something like pbNoFurtherProcessing or something similiar, I nearly fainted from the stupidity of it all. The pb tells you it's a pointer to a boolean (bool * in C++), by the time you see it's being used with the arrow operator (->) and bears an obviously boolean name, that kind of makes it useless information. Not to mention anyone with a *decent* code editor for the last 20+ years can just make a quick jump and look up the variables type if they totally forget it - which shouldn't happen often.


I've also been abusing Visual C++ Express 2008 into cooperating. Right now I have it setup, basically to just be a project and build manager - all the actual code editing is being done in Vi IMproved. MSVC/VS/etc are very very good Integrated Development Environments (IDEs) and I would recommend them to anyone who wants an IDE for serious Windows development (along with a cat scan). However I am used to having UNIX as my IDE, which means powerful tools ;). With more time off work I could probably get vim semi-integrated with the IDE via the +clientserver feature in vim and maybe a plugin of some sort. Non essential though, since right now all the IDE is helping me with is not having to hand-write a makefile for nmake, which would probably have been less trouble then using the IDEs concept of solutions and projects lol.


Life's been good to day.

I'm not in a terribly good mood tonight, had to put up with H.R.P., plus I need to shower & shave for tomorrow, and I need to work out a build system - nmake style because I will fling my computer out a window if I've got to use Visual C++ lol. And I've got to get it all done early so I can go to sleep and be ready to be up at the crack of dawn for whatever H.R.P. wants to nit pick about before the doctors appointment.

She spent at least 15-20 minutes rambling in her usual way, I can only best describe her behavior as being a hurtful old rhymes with witch. So, I'm sitting there listening, face expressionless (for safety), and trying to eat during the first 5 minutes of the tirade. I honestly don't give a damn what her choices of words are, words alone don't bother me, so much as why someone would choose to use them. You could say, words can never hurt me but some people can :-/. Also if she wants to use an indirect quote of my words, as a way of lashin' out, at least she could get something right. As opposed to say, missquoting, missing the point, spirit, intent, etcetera. I'm used to dealing with the kind of people, who you could say, "The pen is red and the ink is blue", and they could here pen, find something to harp on at all exclusion of rationality, and might later try to convince you the pen is blue and the ink is red, lol.


It seems whenever my proximity to anyone in my close-family increases, the more utterly miserable I become. They just suck the life out of me :'(. There's not really much I can do about it, it hurts more to hurt-back then it does to just drown silently, since the alternative is going verbal or physical to a much greater magnitude and nether are courses I am willing to chart. I've seen it to often, I've heard it to often, I've been ripped apart to often, to choose cruelty above all else; strangely it makes me feel even more the freak of the family. I am so like them in capability but not action, it is like carrying an executioners blade but refusing to draw it. Recent conflicts with her royal pain, also makes me think about /why/ I call her H.R.P. in digital commu. and remember something she once said about her own mother. Either way I suppose, something will work itself out in time, the question is just what will be left by then.



It seems that the one thing I desire most in this world is also always the furthest away.

This song is about where I wanna be

I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today. Life is good today.
Well, the plane touched down just about 3 o’clock
And the city’s still on my mind
Bikinis and palm trees danced in my head
I was still in the baggage line
Concrete and cars are there own prison bars like this life I’m living in
But the plane brought me farther.
I’m surrounded by water
And I’m not going back again

I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today. Life is good today.

Adios and vaya con dios
Yeah I’m leaving GA
And if it weren’t for tequila and pretty senoritas
I’d have no reason to stay
Adios and vaya con dios
Yeah I’m leaving GA
Gonna lay in the hot sun and roll a big fat one
And grab my guitar and play

Four days flew by like a drunk Friday night as the summer drew to an
end
They can’t believe that I just couldn’t leave
And I bid adieu to my friends
Because my bartender she’s from the islands
Her body’s been kissed by the sun
And coconut replaces the smell of the bar and I don’t know if its her or
the rum

I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today. Life is good today.

Adios and vaya con dios
A long way from GA
Yes, and all the muchachas they call me “big poppa” when I throw
pesos their way
Adios and vaya con dios
A long way from GA
Someone do me a favor and pour me some Jaeger
And I’ll grab my guitar and play

Adios and vaya con dios
Going home now to stay
The senoritas don’t care-o when there’s no dinero
I got no money to stay
Adios and vaya con dios
Going home now to stay

Just gonna prop up by the lake
Put my ass in a lawn chair
Toes in the clay
Not a worry in the world a PBR on the way
Life is good today. Life is good today.

-- "Toes", Zac Brown Band

Yet another reason for this geek to avoid development for Windows

Since it's the closest point of interest in the DirectX SDKs samples, I set out to build the most basic one. In order to build the EmptyProject sample in Visual C++ 2008 Express Edition, I've had to open the VS Project file for it in the IDE, tell it where to find the DirectX include and library directories, using a modeless dialog that can't even be resized! Then I have had to tell it where to find headers from another Sample entry it lists in a child node, which can't find the DirectX include directory specified in the top level project... Since I can't just right click the child node and modify it the same way as the parent node, I saved the solution and dug up the childs .vsproj.

Looking at the same stupid dialog, I notice that while the last time around I had to go to "Resources -> General" to specify an additional include directory for the pre-processor (which for some brain damaged reason wasn't under "C/C++ -> Preprocessor"), there was no Resources entry in the tree.

At this point, I just said, "FUCK YOU!", went back to the original project file. Went to "C/C++ -> Command Line" entry in the configuration, and manually added the /I"path" switch to find the included directory. Then I did like wise under the "Linker -> Command Line" section to manually add the /LIBPATH:"path" switch with the path to the required .lib files. Saved the solution and built the project. Guess what? Doing it that way: EVERYTHING WORKED!!! Ok, it is widely known to be an ultra-standard need, that you've got to tell your build system where to find things, yeah that's right—but you would think samples included with an SDK would pull in parts of the SDK.



Maybe I am just an old man at heart but somehow, I find it interesting that in 2009, it is still faster to just use a Command Line style interfaces then many Graphical User interfaces \o/. Come on, it's only been about 35~40 years since the GUI was invented, and GUIs really took off during the late 1980s. It still makes me crawl... that they still suck just as bad as they did in 1990. Even worse, aside from the mouse on everyones desktop now're days, beyond the obvious increases in eye candy in the 2000s, I don't see much usability changes in GUI software, that were not in Mac OS and Windows back in the 1980s. System 1 and Windows 1.0 were especially ugly compared to Windows XP and OS X, and things like Vista and KDE4.3 are very sexy, but heck, what's really changed since the old days?


I could almost swear, there has not been one serious improvement under Windows, since adding overlapping windows in '87ish

I think yesterday, they played just about every artists rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, that could be found in their music library lol. Much more of it and I think I would've had most of the song memorized by today; I reckon everyone should know their own countries anthem.

In remembrance of those who have given their lives and those who still stand ready to do so, I loaded the slong Arlington from my meager collection:

I never thought that this is where I'd settle down,
I thought I'd die an old man back in my hometown,
They gave me this plot of land, me and some other men,
for a job well done.

There's a big white house sits on a hill just up the road,
The man inside he cried the day they brought me home,
They folded up a flag, and told my mom and dad, 'We're proud of your son'.

And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property,
I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company,
I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done,
I can rest in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones,
I made it to Arlington.

I remember daddy brought me here when I was eight,
We searched all day to find out where my granddad lay,
And when we finally found that cross,
He said, 'Son this is what it cost, to keep us free'.
Now here I am a thousand stones away from him,
He recognized me on the first day I came in,
And it gave me a chill, when he clicked his heels, and saluted me.

And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property,
I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company,
And I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done,
I can rest in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones,
I made it to Arlington.

And every time I hear, twenty-one guns,
I know they brought another hero home, to us.

We're thankful for those thankful for the things we've done,
We can rest in peace, 'cause we were the chosen ones,
We made it to Arlington, yea, dust to dust
Don't cry for us, we made it to Arlington.

For those out of country that don't know what Arlington is, wikipedia is useful and often translated.

It's nearly time for bed but I honestly don't feel like sleeping. I usually don't feel like sleeping this time of night, been forced into the darkness for so long, that it is nearly light. But in the same light, it will shortly reach a point where I've gotta sleep if I'm ever going to get up early tomorrow.

Generally my livejournal serves to record my experiences, and snap-short my trains of thought, even if such is usually done under an unstable state of thinking :-/.

I best just go to bed, probably will be awake ubtil after dawn as it is; and that means operating tomorrow without any decent sleep period. Then again, I've been known to do that... lol

Lately I have really been thinking of different things, of one, I suppose the best choice of word is "Expressiveness". You could say, my family has its fair share of issues... I at least have never really felt loved or cared for, so much as "just here"; I'm sure such is not the reality but if it isn't, well let us just say there is great disparity involved in our concepts of such things, between mine and theirs. Anyway you slice it, the things that make me, 'me', are just generally not welcome.

As such during my life, I've generally sought different forms of expressing myself; always without care of who gets it and who doesn't, because I need to be able to let it find an outlet.


In my youth I used to doodle incessantly, perhaps if things had been different, and I offored the same opportunities as my forbearers; perhaps I might still spend time drawing. Perhaps I might even have developed the level of skill at it I desire, something profitable might even have come of it (my mother studied as a cartoonist). I always loved to draw, it was a great way to just let my feelings, my imagination: let it all take shape and roll away in it's own directions. When I got older, I started to write more often then draw; less expensive on the equipment (particularly as more modern computers became available) and easier to shield myself from areas of potential censorship. I can't stand repression, and I hate to see or allow others to feel repressed; I do strongly value discipline and order of course, but I do not deal in absolutes either. I am an avaricious reader, once I learned to read they had to take the books away from me... and I still would be found under the covers with a sci-fi novel hidden away hahahahaha! Since the finances for satisfying my tastes ran out years ago, I haven't read much over the past few years :'(,. I've always liked immersive stories, one of the reasons I so dearly loved Dune was the hours of intellectual thought it offered. With my imagination, I also like writing short stories from time to time, but do not consider myself as having any actual talent with the English language. Having been forced into a world where if it takes more then 5 minutes to write, it will likely end up an hour-long project, I have also learned to type very fast - thinkspeed, and to opt for speed over accuracy or correctness, out of necessity :-/. In the past few years, I've often put my thoughts to 'file'. I think in some way, I've forever been influenced by King David, by way of my times in bible study. Although I was quite literally the "Odd man out" of the group, they are considered like THE best bible study group in this place. The stimulation and depth of thinking was always the awesome part of group time...


In more recent times, I've greatly fallen in love with programming computers and designing things, source code is almost like poetry in a way. While I reckon it might sound odd, but I do have a soft spot for poetry (with a point). I don't think I can really describe how I feel about programming, unless you know and understand how it feels. Reading code, writing code, and understanding code; it can all tell you a lot about someone I guess. The only problem is you might just have to be versed in the same art to comprehend any of it.


Ever more increasingly this past year, I have been wishing for a way to explore the world of music deeper. Unlike most of my friends, I've never followed such things very greatly year after year. These days however, I can't stand a silent PC, and can probably bicker with my old wings about the cause of that \o/. I've developed a stronger interest in music, but have no real means to explore it properly. I do gravely regret never having learned to play an instrument, but it is probably best that I never did; since doing so would have meant an even worse living hell, growing up in this family! If I could change the sands of time and bend it to my will, I think I would learn the Violin. Why? It just seems to be the most natural fit. I doubt if I will ever have the chance, and it would take years of quality practice before I could ever play such an instrument at the level I would seek, let along the open sentence to be solved: expressing myself though it. and I reckon, that music has different meanings to different people. For the time being and likely the better portion of my life, I must be content as a listener. Yet, I sorely wish I could let what I am feeling flow through in such a way.

I had plans for about 4-5 entries today but just not enough strength for it :-/. It's been one of those crazy / hectic / mess of a days! The only nice part was an hour or so of SWAT before work, most of which passed peacefully.

I've had to work most of the day, double or triple wammies are abound lately, and having to deal with family through it all (ugh) does not help things. To top it off, I'm basically working the next several weekends. Right now, I can't wait for tomorrow to arrive: not because it means going to work sooner but because outside working hours, I can actually have some time to MYSELF, time that's not under the thumb of any pain in the ass but my own whims, subject to the obvious numeral unno overrides from the heavens above.



I spent most of the work day like most others, thinking. There's just no real mental stimulation in the crap I'm stuck doing, so it leaves my mind free to drift away: sometimes this is good and sometimes it is very bad. In today's case, my thoughts have dwelt most strongly on where I would *rather* be, or should I now say, would rather have been 8=). To just sail away from the things of man, stick my toes in the sand of some sunny beach, layin' there in trunks & shades with a cool drink in hand, and not a care in the world, beyond sunburn that is ^_^.


Aye, a spider can dream.... been much to damn long since I've had any major rest and relaxation, let along a proper vacation lol. Ahh, it would be so wonderful with this weather but unfortunately the distance is, oh what's the word, prohibitive? I've been on the move so long lately, I can't freaking think straight anymore. I could really use some solid down time but that's not gonna happen, short of a miracle. As it stands, it will probably be August before I can stand down for a while, and even then it will likely be just an intermission between burn outs... sigh.


I am so tired of just passing the time away.

Writer's Block: Dog Day Afternoon

The Dog Days of summer, the hottest days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, start today. What's your favorite thing to do in hot weather?

Live Journals Writer's Block

Laugh at people who moan that it is tooo hot out xD.

I grew up in south Florida with like a normal temp of 90F and being soaked to the bone by the time you cross the parking lot. When Georgians cry about the heat, is when I especially ROFL, because it doesn't have that intensity to the sun, like back' home.

You know you've been programming to long when ....

you can miss-read "You don't know whether they're laid out from left to right or right to left in memory", as "You don't know whether they've been laid ...", and then can't stop laughing lol.


O.K. I think I have seriously been sitting in front of a computer wwaaaaayyyy too long for one night.......

This morning H.R.P. scheduled an appointment for the cheapest eye place in town (listed in the yellow pages of course) and canceled work for the day. I reported last nights findings and we ended up instead at what is likely the most experienced of the two most 'suitable' places I looked up. On the upside of using the Internet rather then the yellow pages, was finding a coupon, haha! Plus being able to download, print out, fill out, and therefore skip filling out the paper work in office. After everything was sorted, ma went out shopping (I refused to comply), whilst I tended to trying to enjoy what little time remained. Personally, I think she likely took more joy in going shopping then she would have in getting paid from work lol.

It has been maybe a decade since my last eye examination, so I knew what to expect but not quite the level of outcome. The doctor was exceptionally nice and I would recommend the place to others here. One thing that I very much like about people practicing locally over a franchise of some sort, you know if they are horrendous they would be out of business quickly. I found them professional and easy to communicate with; it's also nice when they have a sense of humour :-).


The general outcome, my vision sucks for distance but they have yet to figure out why. Once my glasses are ready, I do very much wonder just how big a change it will make, these are the eyes I was born with: there is no other form of vision I can compare them to, unless someone wants to loan me their eyes for a few days \o/. 2 weeks after getting the glasses, I'm supposed to go for further testing, which I *hope* happens. Then again, I also hope my toe eventually gets medical attention... :-/. On the subject of frames, that basically took all of 3 minutes. I don't care very much about how they look so much as how well they work! You could say, I strongly believe that form follows function. The glasses are fairly plane, and I most likely rather then having the super geeky brain, I will now also look like a dateless nerd lol. Then again, I'm not sure if one can avoid that with glasses, unless you are dumb as a ....


My brother who was not even present, has succeeded in making my mother feel like 2 cents (a family super-power), ragging on the doctor and his practice, and bitching about the frames without even seeing them. My response to that? Well, to quote Doc. Holiday as portrayed in Wyatt Earp: all you can kiss my rebel dick! I make my own decisions, period - don't like it, then put up and shut up.


;)

OpenArena - addictive Quake III style!

Finding myself a bit light on time today, is tarted looking again at the ioquake3 engine with an interest in playing around with it. Of course, there is nothing better then a real world example - I tested Urban Terror and OpenArena, two games based on ioquake3 and Quake III: Arena game play. Urban Terror applies modern weapons and equipments but beyond that is not really a realism game IMHO. OpenArena on the other hand, sticks close to the core—it is as Quake like as the game play lol.

OpenArena is addictive and you can just feel your brain cells rot away as you engage in the carnage! The game is fairly simple and straight forward, you spawn, you run around, you blow people apart (gibs all over), oh yeah, and there are power ups here and there. Really, there isn't much more to say about it then that, other then it is strangely enjoyable; no wonder the Quake franchise has made millions.

Ahh, sitting here with my foot in a pale of water & Epsom salt, laptop for the music and the dog for company lol. Fools Gold also just started, so I'm set for the next couple of hours. I love this movie, you can't beat a good sense of humour xD. Fools Gold also reminds me how difficult it can be to get someone out of your life...


Just got out of RvS, figured it would be best to soak my foot now so I do get some sleep tonight. On the upside though, I don't have to get up early tomorrow, unlike the rest of the week! Down side obviously being that I'll be workin' later hours tomorrow :'(. Today's job was a headstart on Thursdays work load, all the heavy crap is starting to come out of the wood-works, sigh.


Continuing my hunt  over the eye glasses issue. H.R.P. has taken out a loan to deal with the cost, and it was the toe issue that pushed things over the edge lol. Ok, so many I should be thankful... if this thing ever heals correctly that is. Most people would use the phonebook, me? I use something called the Internet for my initial scouting ;). As usual I started with the cities website (more useful then most folk here would ever dream) an dhave since moved onto Google Maps. The best eye doctor I know of is quite a distance away, so local research is required. Seems that there are at least 4 optometry practices here, at least 2 of which look suitable. Interestingly, it seems that one of optometrist also comes from Ft. Lauderdale—as do I lol.


Ahh, I love the internet, who needs to dig out a copy of the yellow pages anymore?

So far experiments continue with SWAT 4 performance issues. Deeper testing has shown that it is no longer connected to graphical issues, not when running on my current hardware/driver config; nice to be able to max out the graphics online *and* in single player.

What happens is periodically when moving through an area, I get a stutter-lag-warp like motion: as if the whole game stopped spinning and then suddenly unlocked. The only consistency I've noticed is it happens when entering a region of the map that I have not been in previously—or have not been in for a while. One thought is that perhaps it occurs when the cache must be updated with stuff that has already been moved out of the games memory cache. My machine has RAM to burn so I have been testing the game with various cache sizes, but don't honestly expect any positive result. On modern machines, cache size shouldn't matter to much with the Unreal Engine 2.x lol.

Atm I'm defragging a few disks, maybe that might help a little. I don't know if it is just the much greater frequency of crashes with Windows XP, or that NTFS really sucks that much worse then FreeBSDs UFS2 system. But for one reason or another, my windows file systems always end up very highly fragmented. Although on the upside, unlike Win32: FreeBSD does kind of encourage you to fsck afterwards hehe.




Hopefully my experiments will yield some fruit, and I can stop warping all over the place lol.

Goodbye toe, hello pancake!

Ok, so far my toe has been slammed into a couch and healed... then slammed into a step at work, and healed improperly. Last week I showed it to an acquaintance who is a nurse, and she came to the same conclusion I had - time to see a doctor (and have the dead tissue removed).

This morning when getting ready to leave for work, 12 hard cover books fell off the table and landed on the same damn toe lol. I'm lucky they weren't novels 350-450pg thick, or there wouldn't be a foot left let along a toe! No serious damage added, if there is actually anything more to damage... just a bit of blood flow. Cleaned it up and threw a bandaid on it before heading out the door, it likely stopped bleeding by the time we got to work.


In some ways, I think I now will look at Spaceballs with an extra chuckle: whenever Barfs foot gets crushed under a Yogurts statue...

Writer's Block: Childhood Firsts

What was your first word?

Live Journals Writer's Block

My first word ironically was "No!".


I reckon all parents go through the usual "Say daddy" or "Say mommy" kind of thing when their kids are young, mine did, and I told them NO! hahaha!!! I guess I was just born stubborn as a mule xD

Haven't been updating my LJ much this week, as usual that means either I am highly depressed or extremely busy, and often both lol.


This week that has started also promises to be a very hard and busy one as well :-(.


The upside is Operation Redeemer may be moving ahead soon......

Rcent business

As much as I hate to not be working, I am kind of happy about this recent turn of events.

Yesterday the after work down-time was interrupted with a job interview: one that I've had apprehensive thoughts about, in regard to Operation Redeemer. We didn't get it and apparently, my remarks about "32 hours" and needing 12 people to do the job, "Queered it" as H.R.P. put it. I also reminded my mother that she should be careful what she wishes for, since she had asked me to speak up! For better or worse, I prefer to speak honestly and don't like to mince words. Also on the flip side, we got something else (and less painful).


Thursday was supposed to be a trial-run, in which I have wondered just how much stuff could be done in 6 hours of labour. The place is so big, to clear it from a SWAT point of view, would take 20 men and at least 5 minutes. Cleaning the place as a 2-schmuck team would take all week! It is just to freaking BIG.




As I often say, things always balance out in the end. The 2 jobs that virtually evaporated have also come back online in force, and after yesterdays interview, H.R.P. is most certainly less inclined to whine about them lol. For me, work is work; that's roughly all there is to it. Although that being said, I would love to have a career that I can wake up in the morning and actually want to do the job :-/. (Ok, so a crazy spider can dream...)


The positive side is that

In sleeping on it and having a job, that frankly leaves my mind free: I've come up with an idea for the tpsh problem.


The tokenizer is beautiful, the only problem is it does the expansions through a table of call backs. Now if I was to modify that so that it instead attaches meta-data to each token instead, those expansions could be delayed until later without major redesign. It will be necessary to redactor the lexer in order to handle the change in data structure. The code generator can then be tasked with completing any expansions during generation, by expanding lexemes to corrisponding code as it goes. After wards, re do the code generate into something more elegant and voila.... we have what it should've been in the first place!


A good nights sleep always helps the code[r]

A small shoot yourself in the foot, coders moment.

Being bored and lacking further ops I can get done before bed, I picked up on tpsh again. In look for a quick challenge, I noted that the git repo was still on the 'codegen' branch. Basically, a branch to test the idea of generating the execution code on the fly per command sequence.

As a quickie of interest, I picked up the generation phase for the for-loop. Then I hit a road block. Since my shell expands variables, globs, and aliases quickly during tokenization. The reason being, the input field separator ($IFS) and quoting rules determine how this shell splits text into 'words' or tokens for the execution mechanisms—you could say it's "On the way there", thus deals with it as it comes. Currently tpsh handles environment variables by fouling around with the programs own idea of the referenced environment variables (%ENV) without any distinction between exported and unexported variables. My intentions have been to use a more controllable interface for shell variables at a later date, since it is kind of a low-yield concern at this stage of development.


I see several choices:


a/ redesign how things work (obviously this is the whole story, lol), saving the issue until later when other components have matured to match.

b/ leave expanding environment variables (etc) until the last minute, I don't like this idea.

c/ have some way of retaining things that can not be confirmed until later, with an indicator to strip out or expand the remainders at the last minute (this gives me visions of ugly code)

d/ incorporate the code generator closer into the process, so that things get expanded only after they have been confirmed, but generated as soon as possible (a more multiple pass focused design comes to mind).

a is basically a worry-later, and see if other things that needs doing either fix or exacerbate the problem (this is a two edged flaming sword). b is possible but would take a lot of reworking crap, and IMHO result in an ugly LA phase and become prone to introducing bugs into the final results. c sounds simple enough at first glance but I do not see a method that I'm willing to live with. I worry about how easy d would could confuse readers, and what danger a slip up on it could do the results.


For now, I intend to not worry about the minor issue, until after variable handling matures. Because I really love how expand_quotes() works, and that is the best part of the whole program IMHO. Needless to say, tpsh has poor handling of shell/environment variables and has had it throughout its development, since growing the code can wait longer then the other parts.


Not to mention the fact that tpsh has mostly been developed under sleep deprivation in the first place.... lol

edit

In the time it took to submit the entry, type 'shutdown -p now', put away the computer, and take a quick leak: I came up with another solution. Give the code that expands variables an understanding of how they are defined, rather then only how they are referenced. Not only would checking if a referenced variable was just defined in the same set of input work with 'for X' and 'for X in ...' like constructs, it could also be used to implement the 'VAR=... ... command ...' syntax at a later stage :-)

The way expand_quotes() invokes the other expand_* procedures, we would need adjustment before the syntax of prefixing commands with variable settings could work, yet implementing the for-loop in it would be trivial, since anything that would cause the statement to get broken into an unusable token set before defining said variable and attempting variable expansion on it, would also be a usage that gets around for's keyword status!


Problem solved with less fuss, maybe? It is amazing what you can think of while taking a piss!

More [SAS] Dept. of Agriculture

My work on the '[SAS] Dept. of Agriculture' is nearly done, I have only 3 rooms left to do major work on, plus the "special" insertions hehe.


The goal is to be able to use the fire escapes outside the records room to gain entrance, replacing one of the spawn points. I may also modify the front-entrance spawn, so that the team spawns "outside" in a armoury room rather then the reception area. The building is supposed to be a mock-up for a hostage rescue after all, not purely a traditional map: so it wouldn't be a big realism problem :-P.


Alcomplishing those aims appears to be easier then I expected. The real challenge at the moment, is I very much would like to erect breachable "Barricades", that will have to be shoved out of the way. Getting that working so far has been of no real luck.

Today I woke up feeling like microwaved crap and a headache to match; you have a pulse, you report for work—that's the way it is.

The thing that really cheered me up today, was my roughly annual periodic weigh in. Last year it was like 180~182 lbs (~82kg), today the scale read 160 lbs (~72.575kg) which is a much more comfortable range for me... lol. I've never wanted to go much past 180, and for much of the last decade, have been gaining around 10lbs (4.5kg) a year.

What's changed between today and the last time I set foot on a scale? Not a whole lot really, the real food in my diet is likely worse on calories then ever before; but I have largely cut out junk food and snacks. When I do snack, it is usually something healthy like a bowl of Special-K or a banana. That being said, I only eat about 2 meals a day lol.


For virtually my entire life I've only had soda as my staple drink, usually about 1 litre a day. In 2008, I basically switched totally to drinking water at roughly 1 1/4 to 1 2/3 litres a day.



When it comes to exercise, I basically get none outside of work and walking the dog. The last several years have had my room used for storage and laundry racks, resulting in a bogus amount of space—being cooped up in this hellhole doesn't help either. Who knows, maybe misery and depression are a better form of weight loss then diet and exercise... :-/. If this toe ever gets back to a suitable point, that I can accomplish reverse lunges without stumbling, I can start exercising. Moving things around and systematically pushing crap out, has helped double my effective free-space in my room.... and a major goal of Operation Redeemer is the freedom to GTFO of here periodically.


Normally I carry Willow out to where we walk, and occasionally let her walk the way home: if she will cooperate. Today, I told Willow that "You probably need the exercise more then I do", and let her jog there. When it was time to come home, she looked at me with a nasty glint and decided we would jog home—and pooped out along the way! Hahahaha!


Who knows maybe Operation Redeemer would be good for my health, if family doesn't chuck a spanner down its neck.....

Recently I have been thinking about 2 items on my bucket list. More specficially, the two most integer goals...

My thoughts on it haunt me, and the probability of ever seeing those core desires realized is an especially depressing thought. Those that know me fairly well, could likely hazard a few guesses at what those desires are, and hopefully get at least one right lol. I am wondering, even if I ever see them realized, will there be enough left of me, to furfil them? Alas, only time will tell that tale.

Time, such a precious commodity, like a grain of sand slipping through the neck of an hour glass Oh how I wish I could see my goals bear fruit...

[SAS] Dept. of Agriculture, continues

I've been working on the map some more tonight and have made some decent progresses. The thing that annoys me the most is how many times the rat bastard of an Unreal Ed likes to crash! I have often cursed about hex editing programs into the Nth level of DooM—if the editor for Unreal Engine 3 games is as bad as all the Unreal 2 games I've used it with, I will start cursing about hex editing the editors development team into all levels of the DooM II megawad: Hell Revealed.


I don't really wish to comment on the specific changes here, mostly because I want the map to be usable as a Live Operation during its unveiling :-D. Needless to say, it is still the same map but it will not be the same. As long as I can get the stuff rigged up for the fire escape spawn point, I think people will enjoy the map hehe.

What dreams came

Around 09:39 or so, I was woken up because the car cover came off the car, and had to be put on. When that was done, I just went back to bed... oy what a set of dreams!

I dreamt that it was raining cats and dogs and Ma went out the door to check the car cover; Willow almost ran out the door before I could catch her. In real life, Willow always runs and sits near the door, as ma says, "She knows where her bread is buttered", but of course I'm paranoid about peoples safety lol. Then to make it worse after I caught her and ma came back in, I explained and turned around.... and see the parakeet Mikey sitting on my table, and creep over to scope him up before he can fly away—and end up dog food.


Then I woke up and fell back asleep a little while later. It was raining cats and dogs and I explained what I had just dreamt. Then it hit the fan, the bird got out and I managed to catch him before the dog. When I tried to put him back in the cage, so I could fix his enclosure... I found that the cage had come apart! It had just began to unravel and decompose without reason, which is a big problem. So here I am standing with the bird in my hands, rapidly losing weight and feathers—in real life Mike is a fat and pampered parakeet lol. As often seems to be the case in my dreams, my family ends up just being totally freaking worthless whenever I need help :-/.


It's only when I dream of something normal, and not purely fantasy, that I generally get concerned....

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, Theme Song

What a thrill
With Darkness and silence through the night
What a thrill
I'm searching and I'll melt into you
What a fear in my heart
But you're so supreme!

I give my life
Not for honor, but for you snake eater
In my time, there'll be no one else
Crime, it's the way I fly to you
I'm still in a dream of the snake eater

Someday you go through the rain,
Someday you feed on a tree frog,
It's ordeal, the trial to survive
For the day we see new light

I give my life
Not for honor, but for you
In my time, there'll be no one else
Crime, it's the way I fly to you
I'm still in a dream of the snake eater

Writer's Block: I Can Relate

What fictional character do you most identify with?

Live Journals Writer's Block

One fictional character that I can strongly identify with, is the Jack aka Big Boss from Metal Gear Solid 3.

Obvious spoilers warning

Tom: There's one more person I want to introduce you to, Snake.

Snake: ?

Tom: Speaking of snakes, you remember The Boss, don't you? A legendary soldier and your mentor. Actually, it was The Boss that got the DCI's authorization in the first place. She's going to be serving as FOX's mission advisor.

Snake: The Boss is?

Tom: She also helped me plan this mission. She and I were at SAS together.

Boss: Jack, is that you? How many years has it been?

Snake: Boss??

Boss: That's right, it's me.

Snake: ...

Boss: Talk to me. Let me hear your voice.

Snake: It's been 5 years, 72 days, and 18 hours.

Boss: You've lost weight.

Snake: You can tell just by the sound of my voice?

Boss: Of course I can. I know all about you.

Snake: Really. Well, I don't know anything about you.

Boss: What's that supposed to mean?

Snake: ...Why'd you disappear on me all of a sudden?

Boss: I was on a top-secret mission.

Snake: ...

Boss: You didn't need me anymore.

Snake: But there were still so many things I wanted you to teach me.

Boss: No. I taught you everything you needed to know about fighting techniques. I taught you all I could. The rest you needed to learn on your own.

Snake: Techniques, sure. But what about how to think like a soldier?

Boss: How to think like a soldier? I can't teach you that. A soldier needs to be strong in spirit, body, and technique - and the only thing you can learn from someone else is technique. In fact, technique doesn't even matter. What's most important is spirit. Spirit and body are like two sides of a single coin. They're the same thing. I can't teach you how to think. You'll just have to figure it out for yourself. Listen to me, Jack. Just because soldiers are on the same side right now doesn't mean they always will be. Having personal feelings about your comrades is one the worst sins you can commit. Politics determine who you face on the battlefield. And politics are a living thing. They change along with the times. Yesterday's good might be tomorrow's evil.

Snake: Is that why you abandoned me?

Boss: No. It had nothing to do with you. I already told you, Jack. I was on a top-secret mission. A soldier has to follow whatever orders he's given. It's not his place to question why. But you're looking for a reason to fight. You're a natural born fighter, but you're not quite a soldier. A solider is a political tool, nothing more. That's doubly true if he's a career soldier. Right and wrong have no place in his mission. He has no enemies and no friends. Only the mission. You follow the orders you're given. That's what being a soldier is all about.

Snake: I do whatever I have to do to get the job done. I don't think about politics.

Boss: That's not the same thing. Sooner or later, your conscience is going to bother you. In the end, you have to choose whether you're going to live as a soldier, or just another man with a gun. There's a saying in the Orient; "Loyalty to the end." Do you know what it means?

Snake: Being... Patriotic?

Boss: It means devoting yourself to your country.

Snake: I follow the President and the top brass. I'm ready to die for them if necessary.

Boss: The President and the top brass won't be there forever. Once their terms are up, others will take their place.

Snake: I follow the will of the leader, no matter who's in charge.

Boss: People aren't the ones who dictate the missions.

Snake: Then who does?

Boss: The times. People's values change over time. And so do the leaders of a country. So there's no such thing as an enemy in absolute terms. The enemies we fight are only in relative terms, constantly changing with the times.

Snake: ...

Boss: As long as we have "loyalty to the end," there's no point in believing in anything... even in those we love.

Snake: And that's the way a soldier is supposed to think?

Boss: The only thing we can believe in with absolute certainty is the mission, Jack.

Snake: All right. But do me a favor.

Boss: What is it?

Snake: Call me Snake.

Boss: Snake? Oh, right, your codename is Snake. It suits you well.

Tom: That's right. The legendary unit that The Boss put together during World War II was a snake. The Cobra Unit... a group of heroes that brought the war to an end and saved the world. As long as you've got a legendary hero backing you up, you'll be fine. Isn't that right, Snake?

Snake: Yeah, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have with me. Oh, and one more thing, Boss...

Boss: Yes?

Snake: It's good to hear your voice again.

The young Big Boss very much symbolizes to me, someone who has yet to find their own path through the jungle. In Metal Gear Solid 3, we see Jacks entry into the Virtuous Mission: the hunt for Sokolov. The Boss warns him of the very true nature of their world: todays enemies can be tomorrows friends, todays friends can be tomorrows enemies. The game continually questions what Jack is fighting for: country, mission, and so on. With the Bosses 'defection' at the end of the virtuous mission leaving Jack wounded and disillusioned, Operation Snake Eater again sends him into the wilderness, yet this time with the explicit goal of neutralizing the Boss. During Snake Eater, Jack is taken prisoner by the Soviets. After beating him into a bloody pulp, Col. Volgin demands that the Boss prove her loyalty: "Cut out his eyes! I don't like those blue eyes of his. There is nothing more important to a soldier than his eyes. You made him a soldier and now you will unmake him!". When Eve under cover as Tatyana objects, Ocelot commences his juggling act. It ends with Jack trading his right eye to protect Eva.

I think playing through MGS3 is the only real definition of what Big Boss goes through; my best description would be a torture of life.


Surviving Snake Eater with the Bosses blood on his hands, as Eva's betrayal reveals: the Boss had been endlessly shit on by her country (to put it lightly), yet remained loyal to the end. The boss lived in shadow and died in shadow, giving every ounce of life along the way: until even that was demanded of her service. in the end, Operation Snake Eater was all about cold hard cash, nothing else. And for that, ones such as the Boss and Big Boss were subjected to such misery! By the time Metal Gear Solid 3 ends, Jack has been awarded the title of "Big Boss", for he has bested even the Boss. Jack lost his innocence a long the way to becoming Big Boss.

Throughout the game, Jack focuses on his missionm‐and is constantly reminded that he must kill the Boss in order to succeed. I feel that in the end, he must ask himself, "What am I fighting for?", and search to see if this is really the path he will chart in life.



Because my feelings for my family and of my times with www.sasclan.org I have come to sympathize with Big Bosses fate. MGS3 is my favorite of the solid trilogy because it tells his story, of his coming of age. Having seen the whole thing through, I don't think anyone who has played MGS3 could fail to understand the actions Big Boss would later take in life, be they as they appeared or much deaper; MGS4 (the only reason I would like a PS3 haha!) further explores the reasons behind the snake. In a similiar light, I ask of my self:

Are you loyal to the end?

Got what's left of this toe in a scolding hot foot-bath with some Epsom salt; I think it is healed enough that I can eercise on it but I don't think it has been healing properly... nothing I can do about that though. On the upside, hey at least I've still got the nail lol. I've never lost an entire toenail before but I know it takes a long time for them to grow back.


At the moment I am finishing watching Midnight Run, I love the part when the three schmucks are being chased by the mobsters helicopter—and Mardukas (Charles Grodin) is shouting, "You two are the dumbest bounty hunters I have ever seen! You couldn't even deliver a bottle of milk!", it just tickles my funny bone xD.


Spent most of the day playing SWAT 4 as seems to be the usual for right now. During the early phase I basically had to get a bunch of inexperienced people under control, but hey - I like orderly tactics. And when I am Element Leader, people get in line or they get taken offline ;). I organized them into a basic strike, secure, cover group. 1 and 2 man would be responsible for clearing the room, 3 and 4 man for securing contacts and weapons, while 5, 6, and when present 7 man stayed in the corridor to watch our backs. Very simple clearing techniques. I found it particularly well suited for dealing with a large amount of untrained people, while trying to avoid the usual massive conga-line-of-sloppiness and massive headless chicken problems of such a situation. People soon got the idea, and within a few maps I was able to transition to using RED / BLUE team call signs for the two groups; culminating in a simultaneous take down of 3 sectors at once by a 7-man assault force (of which I was basically the only seasoned idiot). Later on after our element had shrunk back to a more manageable size (4-5 instead of 6-7), I soon was able to take a break when [SAS]_Trp_COT showed up and started his EL practice for the day.

Sunshine

Just finished watching a film called Sunshine, a bleak future where our sun is dying and Earth being subjected to the deep freeze. Our last hope is a starship named the Icarus II, on a go for broke mission to drop a "stellar bomb" made with all the Earths remaining fissionable mass, into the sun with hopes that the detonation may jump start the sun and spare humanity from its cold grave.


I'm not really a big student of Greek mythology, let along mythology in general (never had the chance) but I do know of Icarus - who flew to close to the sun, and died as his wings melted away from the heat. I can't think who in their bloody right mind would dare name a ship Icarus in such a dreadful scenario lol (no offense). As far as I know, it is thought that our sun should last billions of years pardoning anything truly catastrophic! And thus, only an immortal might have to worry about its eventual death: the rest of us mortals can just be worried about a planet killer sized asteroid or alien invasion obliterating our world before we manage to annihilate ourselves... be it fast or slow in coming. (I hope man lives to see GOD putting an end to our world, not our own stupidity being the cause)


Sunshine is a very interesting movie, and the stressful-confined-get-me-the-hell-out-of-here feel of some of the scenes remind me of the old Alien. I'm not even going to think about the probability of surviving the oh-shit-it's-come-to-this emergency method of transferring 3 men with 1 suit from the derelict Icarus I back to the moribund Icarus II. I must admit however, that the Pinbacker mystery also leaves some interesting questions for my mind; but I don't believe such a thing feasible. It almost reminded me of David Bowman from 2001: A Space Odyssey but not quite on par with the Starchild.


The thing I find the hardest to comprehend is how witihn ~50 years, could man kind possibly develop technology that could get *that close* to the sun? I compared the Icarus's troubles with that of Doctor Reinhardts efforts in The Black Hole, id est so freaking big a problem only sci-fi could plausibly pull it off in our lifetime. Between intense heat and the amount of gravity that must surround such a beast, I just can't fathom mans technology alcomplishing that so soon - I would be suspicious if we could even get a bomb close enough to be of science-fictional interest let along that close. That is, without advancing the stories focal point from ~2057 into some point so far in the future, that it becomes a date on the Gregorian calendar, more reflective of the numbers seen in Dunes universe—which spans some 15,000 years and leaves our calendars in the dust. I would reckon that in even seven or eight thousand years from now, the technology of the future would be to us, a satisifcation of Clarke's third law. But by then I would expect a Death Star or something, not the Icarus II.



In some strange way it also makes me wish I had the ability and attitude to study Astrophysics :-/. Then again if I did, I would probably find watching such films to be more on par with watching an 80's action flick lol.

Woke up feeling like someone was taking the hands around my head and just squeezing it, plus a mild toothache on the larboard side. The work schedule has been turned up on it's ear, and it's coming into that time of year when business starts to evaporate... which does not hold very well for Operation Redeemers goals :-/.


If I wasn't owed money, I would actually have a chance to supercharge this part of the operation, instead of being S.O.L. All things considered, if I wasn't owed, I would be being asked for a loan, as far the current state of my families finances goes lol.

Strange dreams.... I was dreaming that we were attending church services; we haven't been there in years :'(. While I'm generally not superstistous but I think in my family that may be taken as a bad omen, don't know. I've never really placed much on the interpretation of dreams nor any meaning on them for 99.99999% of the dreams I've had in my life; can't say the same about the rest of my family lol.


When I woke up I said a prayer (my most often used) and rolled back over to get a little more sleep. Then I had a dream that really surprised me: I was dreaming of coming home and there was my father, making himself a sandwich or something. In over 20 years, I think this is the 2nd or 3rd time I've ever dreamed of him. Growing up, I always wanted to dream about meeting my father... since I was very small when he died. We spent some time together and there was something going on, because more and more family (equally both dead and living lol) started showing up in good cloths, towards the end Ma finally got home.

After that my dreams turned to more private nature then I'll post here, I'll just describe it as more stressful but less strange, including me making a verbal reference to a place I've often dreamed of traveling through. Kind of strange actually since certain places, events, scenarios, etc. I often will dream about repeatedly over the years but rarely are they ever the same thing twice.


To me dreams are more so something interesting and occasionally better then TV :-/. What most people would call nightmares I call a sense of adventure missing from life. The only time my dreams have ever worried me is whenever I have a *serious* dream, rather then something absurd...

What is it about certain songs that can touch a piece of us? That special something that lets you build a rapport with our listening ears? My view is that it is the music that connects with a part of who we are, where we've been, and what we've been through; much like the subject of the last song-lyrics I posted goes on about.


Most people that I know, there tastes in music in some way reflect their lives. For me and one friend in particular, I've noted songs that we enjoy tend to be of a more 'pleasurable-painful' nature. Music that can make you remember the old hurts and the old joys gone by, and in some odd way let you touch base with that emotion and feel better for still being able to feel anything that all: or perhaps its just the parts of our existence just plain suck lol.


The songs that I love the most, tend not to be "happy" in nature, but more of a long sad tune. If it's hit my playlist countless times or I take time to stop and listen to it over the radio, odds are it invokes a strong emotion somewhere.


Someday I think it would be cool to read a systematic survey that tries to map peoples experiences to their musical tastes, but such a thing would be rather tricky to get any meaningful result IMHO.

Songs about me

I met a guy on the red eye
He spotted my guitar
and said what do you do?
I said, I sing for a living,
Country music mixed with
a little rock and a little blues
He said I'm sorry
but I've never been crazy
'bout that twang and trains and hillbilly thing
What ever made you want to sing stuff like that?
I just looked at him and laughed and said

cause it's songs about me
and who I am
songs about loving and living
and good hearted women and family and God
yeah they're all just
songs about me
songs about me

So I offered him tickets
I said you'll see what I mean
if you show up tonight
he said I doubt you'll change my opinion
I'll be kind of busy, but hey man, I'll try

Then later on when we finished our songs
about scars and cars and broken hearts
I saw him, he was standing there
right next to the stage
and he shouted
man you were right
it was like you sang those

songs about me
and who I am
songs about loving and living
and good hearted women and family and God
yeah they're all just
songs about me
songs about me

So I'll just keep on singing
'til I hear the whole world singing those

songs about me
and who I am
songs about loving and living
and good hearted women and family and God
yeah they're all just
songs about me
songs about me

-- Songs About Me, Trace Adkins

Yesterday was a reaal cork popper! I have seen and heard a lot of crap over the years but I have never been so disgusted and angry in my entire life (thus far). It just took the cake and a half man... new record levels. And I've even seen a door breached and ripped apart practically by hand lol. That being said, the incident yesterday did not involve my blood kin in any way.


Maybe it is as the numeral unno says, just a week where everyone gets under each others skin... all in all though I am glad that I can be utterly pissed the F' off and still be able to think clearly. I really had to learn at an early age how to deal with intense anger, my family is *that good* at pushing peoples buttons, mine included lol. The closet door still bears holes and knuckle prints from my hot tempered youth. We're a lot of hot headed, loud mouthed, stubborn mules: and whether genetically or environmentally, have even worse then both my parents in that regard (That's like saying you're descended from lava and hydrofluoric acid).

One of the things that separates me from my family and many other people on this earth, is I can control my temper before it gets the best of me.


I just tried fitting my knuckles into the dents in the closet door, and I am kind of proud how far I've come since then... both in stature and control. I don't go nova, I'm not a violent person by nature: despite having developed a put two in the head and move on philosophy of logical problem solving lol. I am the single most rational person I know, and strongly value c;ear thinking over lashing out at others (but can't say the same about the rest of my family).


Perhaps this is one time, that I should be thankful for my family.....

Well on the upside, I've been managing to get to bed fairly early (0200-0300) and waking up near (0830~0845) the final target mark (0700~0730), and all without having to invoke the alarm clock lol.


The problem is getting used to getting UP that early when I don't got to go to work. I think I've woken up and fallen asleep at least 4 or 5 times before rolling out around 1151 :-/. Practice makes perfect and eventually that should be dealt with, hehe.


I've also been playing so much SWAT 4 and mucking with the Department of Agriculture map—I'm starting to dream about playing it!

[SAS] Dept. of Agriculture map

Last night I started working on a customized version of the department of agriculture map (SWAT4: TSS). Basically I want to make some 'interesting' changes but still keep it recognizable as the same building. My biggest interest of course, is in rigging a spawn point from outside and trying to use the fire escape outside the records room as a possible point of entry :-)


I will also likely adjust the enemy spawn points and things and roll down the number of suspects so it is harder to figure out where you will make enemy contacts - and make it more realistic. The big question of course, unveil it as a training map or should the first unveiling be a Live Operation? Hehehe. I guess we will just have to see how much reimaging I have time to do.

I've been working through SWAT 4 more lately then RvS, and when I am Element leader, more often setting the advanced plan of action — the [SAS] style plan of action.

My thoughts is to expose the younger members to more of these fluid, embedding, and flowing assault plans: and let them learn from it by sight and sound. I hope it will eventually trigger an evolution of their thinking, because my demostrations are in the direction they will be heading in a few months.


I rarely care for the "Immediate Action Plans" that some of my peers will occasionally employ; little more then a liquid element full of flashbangs with orders to neutralize everything that moves. It's too simple and while it may reflect a common infantry problem of advancing into the unknown or opertional boondocks, however it does not reflect most of our SWAT 4 or Raven Shield environments significantly. 95% of the time we have intelligence enough to form a suitable Deliberate Action Plan and more then enough time to get it put together. Just assigning a liquid element IMHO is best done when any element formation (period) is unnecessary, or the effort of creating one far outweighs the value obtained from organization. Just doing it without the on the spot corrections or routine training sessions, is also not going to teach anyone how to better utilize their time in a liquid element. Most of the time I look at it as a stroke of laziness.


A fixed element has some advantages:

1. It helps build that discipline you only seem to get with rigorous close order drills
2. It is very simple, that's why it is what Recruits are trained in
3. That simplicity allows less experienced members to optimize their brains thinking around the static structure of the formation and how they will be able to perceive the environment around them

While a simple rigidness is its greatest asset—it can also become slow and unwieldy on tight contested grounds.

Having to drone on through overly verbose loadouts and duty assignments (usually >5min) are the finest sign of either of two things: the Element Leader is still in the learning stage or the plan is overly complicated. In my experience the former is understandable (Rct/Trp/LCpl are still mastering it) and the latter is doomed to failure (effective now is better then perfect later). Not the side effects of a fixed element, only the institutionalization of young minds around them. Fixed elements are very effective and require the least level of experience to employ them optimally; yet this still leaves much to be desired in many situations.


Liquid elements can be highly useful:

1. It offloads most responsibility from leaders to subordinates
2. It can quickly adapt to changes in the environment
3. And it can be very smooth and effective when utilized by seasoned members who have trained long together

It is also like a tidal wave, liquid elements may crash down hard and obliterate all in its path—but it may just as easily wash away under its own weight.


Because it offloads so much down the chain of individual intelligence and experience, it creates a lot more mental over head for those who have yet to adjust fully to the ebb and flow of an element in a close quarters engagement. Everything that was static and rigidly unchanging is now dynamic and flexing every second of play; using it with newbies or the young in general, often results in watching newbies at work. I can only compare a liquid element formation to taking a section of fresh Privates and making them all commanders of Stoßtruppen units, then expecting success.... not gonna happen without the training and the experience. When the element members are up to the task it is highly effective but requires a driving will to keep the tidal wave always striking, and never fading in the wrong direction. To often I have seen liquid elements lead to "sloppy" actions, because of the inclusion of inexerpeicned members in the liquid formation or just a lack of directive!


An assault element must be both fixed in nature and free as a liquid—it must flow through the cracks like a fluid and overwhelm the enemy.


Fluid elements combine all of the mental-optimizational attributes of a fixed formations static nature, but frees operators minds to further-optimize their collective actions, much as they must do (or die) in a liquid element. Often times when working in a fixed formation, I've had those "Uh, this is so F'ing stupid, but I'll do as the young one expects" moments that makes me cringe. It is generally the sign of one who is still learning being in the EL slot, one one whose brain was institutionalized at that level, and has failed to grow beyond it. Elements must have fluidity - that freedom to optimize things on the run that fixed elements drop on ELs alone, and lead to overly intricate plans (Yes, if you are reading this I and wondering if your included, I mean YOU). Professionals should have no need a rigidness or "liquid" way of doing things: instead a simply fluidness of action that comes with experience.



I find describing my point very difficult, beyond a simply exposing it to light through action. It keeps the circle jerking to a minimal.

Was having an odd but light dream. I dreamed something about having a German Shepard dog named Pip. I remember something about a car and a parking lot, and we ended up running home together on foot with no need for a leash. Eventually there was other people and the ground got rougher until finally Pip ended up injured along side; and a woman with near angelic qualities and a healing touch stepped in. Before Willow and Coco, I always thought if I ever got a dog of my own in the future, it would likely be along the lines of a German Shepard; and I've always considered myself more of a cat person anyway lol. But of course, I wouldn't trade these knucklehead chihuahuas for anything!

When I woke up it was about on par with when I want to be getting up but I went to bed late last night, so I just rolled back over lol. Then I started dreaming about investigating a star-tanker that had picked up a Xenomorph, and only had few survivors left. The whole thing was kind of reminiscent of Will Smiths character in I am Legend but I know always keep the dang rifle handy ;).


The good thing? I've managed to not over sleep so badly today... haha!

Ended up putting my head down for a few minutes and what do ya know, next thing I know it's a quarter after zero instead of a quarter after twenty two lol, Sat down to soak the toe, and flipped on Night of the Living Dead with about an hour left to go; I've never seen the original or the remake before actually. Not much of a fan of zombie movies but it wasn't to bad I guess :-/. Despite the remarkable danger of it, it was actually refreshing to see someone tackle zombies unarmed—but I wouldn't reccomend it tactically lol.When it comes to horror movies, I actually consider a zombie horde more threatening then a vampire invasion; it's kind of hard to find both minigun emplacements with nearly limitless ammunition and a good defensible position at the same time! In looking through some of the notes on the web, it looks like Night of the Living Dead is also where the expression "They're coming to get you, Barbra!" comes from, never knew that. Ok, so I've probably been living under a rock for the last century, so sue me.


After that was a movie I wanted to see but never had the chance: Hellboy II: The Golden Army. I very much enjoyed what I got to see of the first film, you could say I have a soft spot for movies with a sense of humour ;). The scene when Hellboy and Abe are getting drunk is also worth while, and Yohann Krauss makes for an interesting addition. (Telling Manning to suck his ectoplasmic schwanzstucker was also a nice touch.) Interestingly, it seems that the comics on Hellboy were published by Dark Horse, always a big plus in my book.I can still remember as a kid, it was always Dark Horse that kept Aliens and Aliens Vs Predator on the shelves hehe. Ironically, 'Before Hellboy was published independently at Dark Horse Comics, the concept was initially pitched to a board of directors for DC Comics, who loved it but didn't like the idea of it involving "hell."' which sounds just like DC!


There hasn't been much on nor much to do lately, so it was actually kind of refreshing to watch TV instead of spend the entire night on the computer....

A liquid element is like water, it may thunder down upon an enemy but wash away under its own weight
A fixed elements ridigidness may become unweildly on contested ground
A fluid element seeps through the cracks and overwhelms the enemy