Why I don't drive

...
(22:44:17) Friend: drive?
(22:44:29) Spidey01: no license
(22:44:55) Friend: WTF?
(22:44:58) Friend: are you serious?
(22:44:59) Friend: why not?
(22:45:04) Spidey01: can't afford it
(22:45:20) Spidey01: it's like a f****** endless loop !!
(22:45:28) Friend: dude yes you can
(22:45:37) Spidey01: how?
(22:46:01) Friend: go take the test
(22:46:28) Spidey01: cost of maintaining license, cost of insurance, cost of gasoline
(22:46:44) Friend: get more money cumming in
(22:46:53) Spidey01: how?
(22:47:23) Friend: well how do you get to work now?
(22:47:43) Spidey01: Her royal majesty drives
(22:48:34) Friend: dude how can that not bother you?
(22:48:38) Friend: mommy still driving you around
(22:48:43) Spidey01: uh huh
(22:48:59) Spidey01: there are 2 ways in which I can afford to rectify that situation:
(22:50:44) Spidey01: A.) Quit this job, get sufficient income to do it --> SIDE EFFECT: must make up lost earnings due to putting her royal majesty out of work; that means a job with around $1000-$1200 take home pay, plus more for cost of (license, insurance, gasoline), and I'll probably end up her royal majesties taxi driver and even more so, an errand boy
(22:51:54) Spidey01: B.) Talk her royal majesty into paying the bill --> SIDE EFFECT: will surely end up her royal majesties taxi driver, and probably even more of an errand boy; attempts to use the car regularly will eventually result in a *cut off* of gasoline supply -> return to original problem definition....
(22:53:34) Spidey01: hence, either way I lose in the end -> life is a very evil chess game
(22:55:30) Spidey01: Any ideas?

where =~ substitute/her royal majesty/my mother the royal pain/globally
note $range is an off the top of the head estimate; but in the right ball park.